More Than...This

I hoped, once.  

I hoped that I would go home.

I hoped that I would have fun.

I hoped that I would be cool.

I hoped that I could connect.

I hoped, once.

I hoped that I could survive.

I hoped that the pain would end.

I hoped that I'd find a friend.

I hoped that I wouldn't have to play pretend.

I hoped, once.

I hoped to kill.

I hoped to die.

I hoped to avenge.

I hoped to cry.

I hoped, once.

I hoped to live.

I hoped to breathe.  

I hoped to know.

I hoped to bleed.

I hoped, once.

I hoped to be something other than the laundry list of psychological diagnoses compounded by social expectations and genetic disease.  

I hoped to be more than this.

I hoped for so much more than.....this.

Author's Note

let downs suck, and sometimes you just have to face reality.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Sometimes hope is a four letter word, this is obsessive in nature, and not very hopeful...I can hear this one in my head. Sounds like a lot of the 'stuff' in my own head. Nice one Siren.

[Siren]

Faith Hope and Love are, I believe, equally vice and virtue. Thank you for taking the time to read my scribbles. I hold your review in high esteem, and it's compounded by your high praise.

[quinfinn]

there's a serious and copious amount of hoping going on here. it seems sometimes like all we can do is hope for things to be better than we expect them to be, but realistically, this is self defeating...when you already know the outcome. well penned..

[Siren]

Thanks, quinny. I was feeling pretty terrible when I wrote this, so.....it's probably not one of the better ones.