When Death Comes

When death comes,

All silent and slow,

Killing the blush

Which put your face aglow--

Scarcely, can I

Quite exactly recall

How death could

So quickly fall.

The final breath,

Just that one last,

Broke me down--

Not quick and fast,

But ripped me to shreds--

Apart was I torn!

Left slowly to die,

So weak and forlorn,

I now can only

Barely exist--

Living in a dense

And suffocating mist.

Never had I thought--

Never had I known

The fate worse than death

Is to survive alone!

What I would give

To instead have died--

But torture you so

Oh God, but how could I?!

No!  Far better to live

All broken and cold.

Much better, my love,

That I alone grow old.  

Author's Note

Where I am, it is dark. Though I only need to hope for it and dawn would come, I'm afraid that this time the dark has won. So I leave this with you for now, until my words come again. I only wish the title was better given. Ideas for a better one would be quite appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Reviews

[BeccaLeeNyx]

I like the rhythm and rhyme in the poem. I agree with the previous comment that "To Survive Alone" would be a really good title. I've been in dark places (mentally) before, and this poem does a job describing those times. It is always our strongest emotions that bring forth some of the best works.

[Siren]

Thank you so much for your words. Death has been on my mind quite a bit lately, and the only thing I can do without incurring the wrath of people who care is to write about it. Some days, it's the only thing you can do.

[BeccaLeeNyx]

Very true. I find it therapeutic to write my emotions out on paper rather than hold it in.

[quinfinn]

i feel you, Siren. i have been in a dark place for several days now. this write is very engaging and effective, it brings out the feelings you intended very well. as for a title...well, i would have used a line from this very write "to survive alone" but that is just my humble offering. well done, Siren!

[Siren]

Thank you for your words. "To Survive Alone" could work well, but I feel like that gives the poem away too easily. I'll think about it, though. Thank you again!