Speechless, Breathless, Hopeless

Tears whisper and fall

As I silently pray,

Staring at this wall.

There's nothing to say.

Words can't be found;

Neither can my breath.

I can't hear a sound;

My world is as silent as death.

Reach for my hand,

But I don't know your face.

I can't understand

Why you'd leave me in this place.

They buried you tonight,

And with you went my will--

To live, to love, to fight,

Or even to hope still.

I've never been so broken,

Shattered by such despair

Words can't be spoken,

Even if chosen with care.

You are the ghost

That haunts me from my past.

Whatever I love most

Will never, ever, last.

Author's Note

I wrote this as a way to process the turmoil that storms inside me right now. How do you bury your child? How do you plan your sister's funeral? How do you give your brother's eulogy? It is dark here, friends. It is very. very dark. Someone turn on the light; I can't find my way home.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

i have buried my father, my mother and my older sister all in the space of six years. it is a hard and bitter pill indeed, so i feel you completely on this write. sometimes it is best just to get it out in writing , to put it out there and listen to responses. it is both cleansing and cathartic. this is an awesome piece of prose, dear Siren.

[Siren]

Thank you for your words, quinny. Writing really did help. It still hurts like hell, though.

[Salar Majak]

it hurts, all i can tell you that it digs too deep, and never stops, but by time the wound heels, not completely, for every time a memory pops up, it hurts again.
this is so chilling, and it is a dark place, but only you can turn on the lights, and home will be, waiting faithfully for you to go back.
beautiful, sad, and it hurts.

(They buried you tonight,
And with you went my will--
To live, to love, to fight,
Or even to hope still.)
the part that made me cry.

[Siren]

Your words are incredibly kind; thank you for your review. You saw what I was trying to say. It is a bittersweet comfort that you understand this so well. Home will be waiting for both of us.

[Salar Majak]

:) maybe you are right

[Blissful Sin]

Jesus this is wonderful, it’s so deep and touching. Perfectly describing death and his devious powers.
-Bliss

[Siren]

thank you so much for your words; I appreciate them