LOVE - the question or the answer?

“Why are you so angry, David?” asked Natalie.

“What?” replied David, not looking up from his book, “What do you mean?” He was sitting on his bed reading Henry Thoreau’s Walden, his back resting against the clearly faded pale blue wall.

“I mean, why the hell are you so angry all the time, Dave?” explained Natalie, putting aside the book she was trying to read. “It’s like you’re really upset with the entire world! And I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why!”

David slowly raised his eyes towards Natalie. Her face had almost assumed the pallid colour of the feeble yellow light which dimly lit the room. With his face breaking into almost half a smile, he replied, “You’re mad, you know that?” and then almost as if nothing had happened, he bought his attention back to his book, his countenance once again dour.

“No Dave, I’ve wanted to ask you this for the longest time,” said Natalie, coming closer to David. She positioned herself by his side and continued, “But I could never bring myself to it. There definitely is something that’s bothering you. Why won’t you tell me, my love?”

Laying down his book, and turning towards Natalie, he found her looking at him with longing eyes. She had a sombre look upon her face, with almost a touch of desperation. He could feel her body, tensed up, by his side. “You think too much, Nat,” he said finally, “There’s nothing wrong.”

Almost instantaneously, Natalie replied, her hands climbing up clinging on to David’s shoulders, “No baby, don’t say that! I know you take me to be naive, but your ‘anti-world’ behaviour doesn’t escape me.” She was breathing deeply; she pulled herself closer to David, “No, something is wrong and I’m certain of it. You do not seem to like anyone or anything. You seem disinterested in almost everything. Nothing grabs your attention, nothing excites you. You just seem so nonchalant about everything around you.”

She waited for him to reply. She moved her hand through his ruffled black hair. His hardened face, slightly longish, with stubble that suggested a tired look, hardly moved. His eyes, deep black, were resting on hers, but she couldn’t understand what they were saying.

Afraid, that she might not have explained herself properly, Natalie continued, “But no, my darling, I’m not complaining. You’ve been really good to me. But I know that you do not love me. Even, towards your family, you’ve carried out every responsibility a caring man, son, brother should. But you are still emotionally detached from them.” Natalie wasn’t sure whether she was saying exactly what she intended to, but she knew it was too late to hold back now. “I mean, again I’m not complaining, I completely respect you for it. I’m not even asking you to change. It just bothers me that I know so little about the man I’ve been married to for 7 years. I do not ask for you to love me, that is something I must earn. But I yearn for you to help me understand you. Is it that you hold the entire world in contempt? Do you feel something amiss in any way? Do you not like things the way they are? Are you of a different philosophical mindset that I am unaware of? Is it .. do you .. oh for God’s sake tell me what is it, Dave?” ended Natalie, her eyes almost welling up with tears.

David planted a light kiss on her pale forehead. He recalled the day he had seen her for the first time. It was almost 9 years ago, while he was completing his studies at the University of Warwick. She was in his class, always bustling with enthusiasm about what was being taught. He would have dismissed her as just another ambitious, enterprising woman, had he not been captured by her innocence. Something about her caught his attention, and it never left.

Now, nine years later, she looked just as pretty as she did while sat on that sunshine bathed-bench in his class. Her eyes were as blue as the water of the oceans and her auburn hair fell gracefully over her shoulders. She was slender, slim and had her skin had a gorgeous pink texture, which gave her the appearance of a dainty, delicate young girl. She was, however, very lively and enthusiastic. She was also very well-spoken on account of being habituated to reading at a very young age.

David remembered her being drawn towards him from the very first moment they spoke. She was visibly intrigued by this man, who said little, but understood everything. He was a man whose eyes could see through your soul, but were never a window to his own. He appeared to be firmly rooted within himself, like a cliff which not only imposingly towered the skies but also ran the depth of the earth underneath. As time passed, she found herself falling in love with this mysterious man; his obscurity making her want him even more.

After completing their education, when David landed a job at a leading publication in her town, her joy knew no bounds. She made open her desire to marry him. And David found himself agreeing before he knew it. He had to admit that he was for some odd reason, invariably drawn towards her and he knew that even though he would probably never be able to get himself to love her, she would be a worthy companion.

So here she was, seven years after their marriage, perched by his side, lachrymose and vulnerable. He knew she loved him deeply, he could see it in her eyes. He just wished she would understand the world within his mind.

He pulled her towards him and held her in a gentle embrace. He brushed her hair with his hands and using them pulled her behind. Slowly, he lay her down and kissed her pink lips, tender and cold. His hands wrapped around her body as she lay out a soft moan of surrender. He felt her in his arms as her body went a little lump, slumping ever so slightly within his grasp. He kissed her neck and felt her quiver. Her eyes were closed, her mouth slightly open, and her countenance bore the expression of being in a perplexed sort of pleasure.

She let out another soft moan. He glanced at her and a wave of uncertainty overcame him. Here was a woman who loved him, ever so deeply. And yet even she failed to understand him. But was it her fault really? In all these years, had he even given her a chance?

Slowly, he undressed her, and kissed her again. Her breaths began to deepen as he moved down slowly. Her body grew restless as he deliberately paused at her navel, his hands playing with her bosom. He moved up again, kissing her breasts and running a finger through her cold lips. Her body, however, felt warm, and he pressed closer.

He could feel her anticipating him to enter her. Earlier, she had felt this way emotionally, as well. When they married, she had, in a similar manner, anticipated him to enter her soul and allow her to enter his, to pour himself out and accept her as part of him; and allow her to do vice-verse. She had never said this aloud, but he could see it in her eyes. The unyielding, unrewarding wait. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year.

But unlike the sensual gratification he provided her, he disappointed her emotionally. Slowly, he felt her beginning to accept him as he was. The anticipation diminished slowly, the wait stretched into eternity.

He ran his hands playfully along the length of her body. He felt her body acquiesce under his will. He undressed slowly, keeping his gaze fixed upon her luscious body. He climbed on top of her once again, and slowly entered her. Almost instinctively, she let out a gasp of welcome pain. Almost instinctively, she knew, it was different this time.

Author's Note

please share your thoughts on this .. :) i'm open to any new ideas/criticism .. thanks ..

Reviews

[Deeply Daisy]

I really enjoyed this too. I think the characters are believable and interesting. The writing is good too. I think the other good thing is that I am interested to find out more, to know what's up with this guy and how their relationship will turn out. Good stuff.

The only critique I have of this snippet is that it kind of jumps straight in to a conversation that doesn't seem to evolve naturally. Once you're in there, it is interesting which is good and it maintains your interest. But when I began reading it, I felt a bit overwhelmed that they were all of a sudden having quite a heavy discussion: which might be totally typical of this couple, but I think maybe they could have eased into it a bit more naturally. Although, having said that, I dont know what I would suggest by way of 'easing them in naturally' to it so this might be rubbish advice. Also, it could be nothing to do with your writing (which I really liked) and maybe just me being a bit of an idiot. So ignore my critique if it doesn't feel helpful to you, as my overall comment is that it was really good and I would love to read more. x

[Matthew Ian Herrawood W]

this was good not really the sort of thing i enjoy reading but it was very good for what it was and despite myself i want to know more and i think you should continue it. i can see many diffrent story lines that you could wright for this 1 example are is why or how he bacame like he is another could be how Nat deals with this difficult realationship. definetly continue it. Cheers
Matthew W

[Leora Mae]

I like your writing style. The dialogue is thoughtful and genuinely true to life. Well done. The only criticism I really have is how it began, really. I felt like I missed an important lead up to a really good scene.
Other than that, really nice. :)

[Faye]

I'm sorry to say, but this actually didn't really catch my interest for anything other than an editting perspective until about halfway through--and sometimes, this is just too late.
I was most interested in learning about the man's thoughts and personality. The woman came off as a bit neurotic and needy, but it may have been from the way you did the dialogue. The discussion really should be worked up to; the way it is, it just seems kind of like she's jumping on him for no reason. At the same time, her beginning body language made me think that she was trying to seduce him instead of actually trying to discuss something serious.
All of this said, I like the concept and I think this idea could actually be expanded into something quite interesting. Do not, by any means, think I did not like your writing. It was better than many I have read, it just needs polished. :)
Good luck, and I hope you decide to expand it.

[tamari-haruma]

suraj! wow! this is nice! i really like it since david reminds me of someone i truly love! its just like him and funilly natalie's persoanlity is like mine! except i dont look like her lol!!!!!! good luck hun and well done i wanna read morE!!!

[ChloeKirk]

Hi, I think it's a good start and that there's a lot of places to go. You want to describe a lot of visual elements but I honestly think you are trying too hard with the descriptions-just let them come. Also, no one really says "my love" so much and it feels like some of the dialoge is not so sharp. When you try writtng dialoge say the lines outloud and see if they sound right. But there is a nice tension there, espically for an opening chapter.

[Curious Twist]

im not usually one for romance, but i really enjoyed this :)