drip

drip, the sound that water makes on the stone floor

‘drip, drip, drip’ I heard the almost silent rhythmic sound of water droplets hitting the cold stone floor. Some drops rolling down the side of my cheek and falling to the floor silently but others found their way to the tip of my nose before releasing their grip on my face all at once and landing in the gathering pool on the floor causing the dripping sound. It was so cold that night, I remember feeling colder than I ever was before, how did I even end up there? Such a normal autumn day unwinding to become such a cold night. My cheeks were wet, the pool beneath me becoming bigger with every dripping sound. I was just so cold! Why was it so cold? Ice particles growing in size, becoming small crystals were taking over my body, starting deep inside and working their way out. I was freezing from the inside out. It was just so cold. So silent but for the slight dripping sound. Silent and cold. I was so, so alone. I could feel my cheek getting wetter from the tears covering the floor under my face and the icy stone floor didn’t feel as cold against my skin as the numbing snowy bitterness coming from inside. Sharp daggers digging through my chest as this moment seemed to go on forever.

‘bzzz.. bzzz… bzzz’ the phone buzzing on the floor, so much louder than the dripping, rang out in the silent room creating small ripples in the pool of tears beneath me that I could just almost see from where I was, my eyes mere centimeters from the gathered ring of tears. ‘bzzz.. bzzz’ it was peaceful, lying there watching the ripples in my very own salt water lake, I never wanted it to stop and yet I reached over lifting the smart device off the floor causing it to stop. I never answer the phone, especially when I don’t know who it is, I prefer texting so as to not say something stupid but that day I answered the phone not even checking the caller ID just putting it against my ear without moving from where I was lying on the floor. The ice in my heart seemed to harden, my chest becoming a solid mass making it almost impossible to breathe. I sharply inhaled trying to gain control over my breathing so as to not alert the person on the other side of the line to the fact I had been crying, I didn’t want anyone to know. ‘Hello?.. Emily..?’ I heard in my ear causing another tear to trail it’s way down my face. ‘Emily. Listen, I’m sorry I-‘ he paused probably do to what he heard from my side of the call, I just couldn’t control it, tears were freely falling from my eyes, my breathing quickened and was more audible the heaviness and my chest just kept growing. ‘are you ok?’ he asked after a moment of thought, maybe he was debating whether to continue apparently deciding against it. I didn’t answer him, I didn’t say anything not even when I first picked up the phone. ‘I’ll be there in a minute’ he finally said, a decision not a question but a statement, a decision, a promise. I could hear shuffling from the phone pressed against my ear, I knew.. I just knew he was about to hang up and come over so I found myself whispering ‘don’t..’ into the phone. Nothing, it all went silent again, dripping sounds, a phone pressed to my ear but no sound, he stopped what he was doing and just listened, maybe he was lost in thought debating what to do. ‘I’m coming over’ decisive once more. ‘don’t’ I repeated, still a whisper, my voice trembling. ‘okay.. um, do you want to talk?’ he asked clearly unsure of what to do yet unwilling to do nothing. My answer came as a shake of the head forgetting for a moment that he wasn’t there to see it.

It had been an hour, passed silently with nothing said between us, on the phone.. crying if but silently this time. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow’ he finally said giving up, exhaustion not very well hidden in his voice. ‘biiiiip’ he hung up, only then did I realize how much I actually wanted him there with me.

Author's Note

I don't normally post my writing, mostly too afraid of disliking it in the future, so if you have any opinion at all I'd love to hear it