Three meals

Today I ate three meals.
Then I cried and threw up in my room.
I don't know how to feel.
Everything's going wrong.

I don't want to eat food.
But I know i should.
I feel everything but good.
I would do anything if I could.

My body doesn't feel like mine.
I feel so pathetic and weak.
The number of calories defines me.
I try not to take a peek.