Menopause and MeA Story by sunnydaisy This is a story about my journey with menopause Menopause and Me I can honestly say with egotism that
when I was 16 through 30 I was a downright hottie. When I was eighteen and still reading the
Seventeen magazine, I saw an advertisement for playboy magazine looking for
auditions for playboy bunnies. It was in the back of the magazine in a little
one inch box advertisement. “Wanted
Playboy bunny applicants, auditions start Monday the 18th.” All I
had to do was get to Seattle for the auditions.
This became an unrealized dream because of money but at least I could
say it almost happened. It wasn’t until
17 that I realized that boys were recognizing my perfectly shaped 36-26-36
body. That was probably for the best. Now when I wake up, go to the bathroom for a
shower, strip my clothes off I almost cry in shame. What happened to that once perfect body? I am only 14 years older than when I had
it. How can 14 years change a body so
much? It’s menopause. Now, I know I can’t blame everything about
myself that I loathe about myself on menopause, but for the most part these
drastic changes came after my hysterectomy.
I am going to go through all these changes that I have experienced and
then repeat the process to tell you how I’m dealing with or am going to deal
with them. This is for my daughter. When she gets old enough she can have this
paper I wrote to hopefully help her along her journey when it’s her turn. Hysterectomy
I have always had really bad
periods. I’d be home for at least two
days a month bent over in pain. After
each one of my pregnancies the doctors would say your periods will get better
after each birth, but they never did. The
bleeding and pain only got worse. The
bleeding was so bad that I couldn’t get up out of bed to take care of the
kids. I was really anemic. The doctors would give me iron pills. They were to get my red cell count up. If you have anemia it depletes the oxygen in
your body and too little oxygen in the body can damage your organs. I remember bleeding a whole lot and the
doctors performing a few surgeries to try to prevent having to take my woman
parts out. Unfortunately nothing worked
so I had to go through the hysterectomy procedure. Believe it or not I was not
in despair over this. I know a lot of women go through a point where they say
they won’t feel complete without their woman parts. I however was relieved. Deep down I really wanted this to happen. I was done having children and defiantly
tired of being down and sick from bleeding so much. I wanted to get up and play with the kids
again. If you have to say something else
positive about this procedure, you could be happy that you will never be
surprised again at a party or on vacation with blood on your pants. The day of the surgery I was both happy
and nervous, but when it was over I was really relieved. The doctor came in and said they were able to
leave the ovaries. The reason for leaving the ovaries was that menopause would
not happen right away. They said it
would happen sooner than it would normally, but not right away as if they were
to remove them during a surgery. They
said it would be better for my body to leave them in. I am wishing now that they would have taken
them out that day. Leaving the ovaries
has just prolonged the inevitable menopause and made my adventure more
despairing. By despairing I do not mean
I’m depressed. I just feel like
menopause has been a really long journey for me. Just when I think I’m done the hot flashes
and other symptoms come back. I really
just want to be done. After the hysterectomy I first started
noticing changes with my weight. It
seemed like a year or so after the surgery I was gaining five pounds at a time
every couple of months. No matter how
hard I worked out the weight just kept coming.
I went from being a pear shaped woman to an apple shaped woman. People say I don’t look bad now but when I
look in the mirror I see an oompa loompa like in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate
Factory. The song immediately plays in
my head
Oompa Loompa, do-be-dee-doo, I
give you that whole stanza of oompa loompa because every bit of it pertains to
me. The lines about guzzling down
sweets, man do I ever! I do believe
sometimes I do eat as much as an elephant.
I defiantly don’t like the look of it. Next to enter my life were the hot
flashes. Holy hell! This I have to say is the most dreadful part
of menopause. I have been dealing with
the hot flashes for five years now. Let
me give you a bit of a scene for these.
When a hot flash starts you begin to turn red from the chest up. It feels like you are standing too close to
the metal gates of hell. You are
standing there sweat pouring off your face and body, your clothes become
drenched, if you have layers you start to peel them off like a hooker too eager
for her money. People start to stare
wondering if you are ok or just a crazy loon.
I have read so much on them and learned so little. I have been to the doctor on more than one
occasion deciding what I can do about them.
Here is what the Mayo Clinic says are the top treatments and drugs. Hormone
Therapy �" Estrogen and progesterone are the hormones used to reduce hot
flashes. Women who have had a hysterectomy can take estrogen alone. But if you
still have a uterus, you should take progesterone along with estrogen to
protect against cancer of the lining of the uterus (endometrial cancer). With
either regimen, current recommendations are to use the lowest effective dose
for the shortest amount of time needed to relieve symptoms.” Antidepressants _” Low doses of certain antidepressants may decrease hot flashes. Examples include: ·
Venlafaxine (Effexor, Pristiq) ·
Paroxetine (Paxil, Pexeva) ·
Fluoxetine (Prozac, Sarafem) However, these medications aren't as
effective as hormone therapy for severe hot flashes and may cause side effects,
such as nausea, dizziness, weight gain or sexual dysfunction. But they can be
very helpful in women who cannot use estrogen or progesterone for relief of hot
flashes. Hormone therapy Before starting estrogen therapy for
menopause symptoms, review your heart-disease risk factors with your doctor,
and weigh the benefits of symptom relief against the risk �" remote but
recognized �" of developing heart disease as a result. Estrogen therapy is not a
good option if you've ever had a blood clot or breast cancer. As an alternative for women who
can't take estrogen, some doctors prescribe progesterone alone to help control
hot flashes. Antidepressants ·
Venlafaxine (Effexor, Pristiq) ·
Paroxetine (Paxil, Pexeva) ·
Fluoxetine (Prozac, Sarafem) However, these medications aren't as
effective as hormone therapy for severe hot flashes and may cause side effects,
such as nausea, dizziness, weight gain or sexual dysfunction. But they can be
very helpful in women who cannot use estrogen or progesterone for relief of hot
flashes. Other
prescription medications ·
Gabapentin
(Neurontin, Gralise). Gabapentin is an anti-seizure
medication that's moderately effective in reducing hot flashes, particularly
for women who have symptoms at night. Side effects can include drowsiness,
dizziness and headaches. Clonidine
(Catapres, Jenloga, Kapvay, others). Clonidine, a pill or patch typically used to treat high
blood pressure, may provide some relief from hot flashes. Side effects include
dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth and constipation. I
have tried all of these and more. I just
want to touch on what these things have done for or to me. The HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) comes
in many different ways. You can get an
estrogen patch. That seems simple but
some of them come off when you pull your pants down to pee. Or you can take pills, but those are made
from pregnant horse pee. Creams you rub on soft parts of your body but
I worried about bathing. Or you can take
shots. I have tried all but the
shots. Reason is: the doctors and I have
never been able to get the dosage just right.
If I took the shot it would be in my body for over a month and there
would be no way to counteract what it would do to me. When I have tried the patches I seem to do
alright on them for a month or so then my body accumulates too much estrogen
and I have other effects from that, such as gaining 10 lbs in one week. Then instead of oompa loompa song I am
singing “pink elephants on parade!” I
can say they defiantly help with the hot flashes and other symptoms but when I
gain a lot of weight, I feel like I can’t breathe and it makes it hard for me
to exercise. I eventually just quit using them. They stay in my system for a few months then
the hot flashes and symptoms come back and I am stuck trying to find another
answer. The blood pressure medicine didn’t
last long at all. I didn’t even notice a
change in the symptoms from those. All I
noticed was I was dizzy all the time from low blood pressure. I already have somewhat low blood pressure
and this just made it worse. I only used
them for a few weeks. Antidepressants for me became a
nightmare. They worked just fine, but
when it became time to stop them you just couldn’t stop. It was like my body had become addicted to
them. If you didn’t take what you were
supposed to you would become very dizzy, disorientated and downright
nasty. It took three months to get off
of those. So when the symptoms returned
that was no longer an option. Homeopathic
medicines are just a joke. Some ladies
report that they work for them, but for me it was just like taking
placebo. You spend a lot of money trying
different ones with different ingredients but for no benefit. After all the prescription medicines I tried
I really thought that going natural was going to be the way to go. Soon your symptoms become so intense that you
don’t care anymore which way you go, you just want them to stop! Maybe we should talk about the mood
swings next. You think you suffer mood
swings when you are on your period or pregnant?
Ha! Well hold on to your jeans for this bit of information. Mood swings can happen on an hourly basis with
menopause. Mood swings are when you are
happy one minute then maybe sad the next and the next your sad or happy again.
The swings are not confined to nine months of pregnancy or one week of being on
your period nope, nope, nope, hourly!
This leaves your family members and friends to wonder if you have gone
completely mad. You may even question
yourself at times. Let’s take this for
example. I’m sitting in the classroom,
the instructor is quite boring. I am
starting straight ahead acting like I’m listening intently. Really I’m daydreaming. Thinking of when my children were
little. The thought that my son is getting
married in July pops into my head. I
immediately start to tear up and cry right in the classroom! How embarrassing. I fight back the tears but I have to get up
and leave. As I come back into the
classroom everyone stares……..I think to myself, “Maybe I’m just tired.” With menopause you never sleep. Insomnia! Oh how I long for sleep almost nightly. If
you can imagine this, I have just finished a nice hot cleansing shower. I get out feeling refreshed put some powder
under my pits, refresh my face with some astringent, I am feeling so
refreshed. I get into bed thinking to
myself “this is going to be the night” I lay down and immediately my eyes pop
wide open and I can’t sleep! I’m laying
there and chanting “sweet sleep come to me…..PLEASE!” My husband rolls over out of a dead sleep and
says “huh, huh, what?” All I can think
to myself is “shut up! You man!” as I
whip off the covers once again with a fiery hot flash. I’m so sleepy every day.
One day I go into the doctor’s office to talk about menopause. The nurse gets me all checked into the room
and I am left to wait. I’m thinking “I
should just be a man.” The doctor walks in and says “what can I do for you
today? I reply “make me a man! I feel like men really have it made. No periods, no babies and no menopause.” All I get from him is “guys like you the way
you are.” I should punch him in the
face. What is he thinking? Fuzzy thinking is another symptom I
experience. This symptom has been another
one of those nuisances. I feel like I
don’t remember like I used to. Things
that you have known forever all the sudden slip your mind so easily. I could tell you my bank account number,
recite every phone number in my cell phone, and remember a grocery list without
a paper and events that happened 30 years ago.
Now I’m lucky to remember what a person just told me to do. Or when I look at directions they are hard to
decipher. I can be standing there
talking to you and next thing you know I say “what did you just say?” I feel like a total idiot. Heart palpitations are by the far
the scariest and bothering symptom. I was sitting at work a few years ago and I
needed to go upstairs to take some reports to the controller. I could have taken the elevator but since
weight is a problem I decided to take the stairs. I jaunted up the stairs like I have in the
past but this time when I reached the top of the stairs something was
different. I could not catch my
breath. I quickly took the reports and
put them on the controller’s desk thanking God that she wasn’t there and didn’t
want to talk. I then went into the
bathroom and shut myself into a stall. I
sat down on the toilet with my pants pulled up, as I was only using the toilet
for a chair. Minutes ticked by it must
have been a good five minutes and still my heart kept pumping so fast. I felt as if at any minute I was going to
pass out. I got up the courage to come
out and walk back downstairs all light headed.
I told my boss I need to go to the hospital I can’t breathe. She kind of freaked out and asked “should I
call an ambulance?” “Do you want me to
drive you?” Embarrassed of the situation
I assured her I would drive myself or call my husband. I got out of the building and into my truck
and sat there trying to compose myself.
I was thinking “I’m going to surely die.” I started the truck knowing I shouldn’t be
driving this way but the panic that had set in had made me lose my mind. From work it was pretty much a straight line
to the hospital. I drove carefully
knowing in the back of my mind I could easily cause an accident. I got to the hospital and of course there was
no parking. I had to walk nearly a mile
to the emergency room from where I found parking. I called my husband and told him what was
going on. He said he would meet me
there. I staggered close to the building
kind of holding on but not enough to let passer by’s that there was something
wrong. I don’t know why I couldn’t let
someone help me. I made it to the emergency
room and that lady says “what can I do for you?” I said “I can’t breathe.” Instead of helping me she said ok have a seat
in the waiting room. I sat there for a
few minutes and the triage nurse came out to get me. She asked me some questions, took my blood
pressure, temperature and weight. She
says wait here. Her return was not quick
and when she did return she brought me a tranquilizer! I was thinking to myself
“why do I need a tranquilizer?” She then
sent me back out into the waiting room where I sat for two hours before being seen. When the doctor finally saw me the
tranquilizers had slowed my heart beat and I was feeling better. No tests were done and I was sent home and
told to see my family physician. I did just that a few days later, and she sent
me to a cardiologist. Tests were done
and I was told what is happening to me is due to menopause and things were
normal. It was a relief but when it
still happens it’s hard not to freak out. I still see a cardiologist but things
still look good and I’m told there is nothing to worry about. There has been nothing glossed over in this
paragraph. This is almost minute to
minute account. If this should happen to
you, I just hope you will not be as scared as me when it happens. Let’s move on to something a little more
light hearted. Unwanted hair growth. It really sucks! I am becoming a hairy monster. I could be somewhat like a Bigfoot looking
creature. At least that’s what I see in
the mirror, and when I am standing out in the sun. According to MenopauseRX, which is a site you
can go to on the net to look up any of the annoying menopause symptoms, women’s
testosterone levels rise when the estrogen goes down therefore we grow hair
like men. Nothing is worse than sitting
in the sun relaxing the sun shining down you feel the warm heat on your body
thinking about nothing and then, your niece comes up and says “Aunt Gina, why
do you have a beard?” Wow! Talk about making a person feel self
conscious. I haven’t shaved it or waxed
it, but have thought about it many times.
I know my sister has and now she has to keep that up. Going to the salon to get waxed every couple
of weeks doesn’t fit into my schedule. I
am stuck plucking every time a new one comes along. Oh joy! Midlife
and Menopause now I don’t mean to scare anyone with what I
have written so far. Menopause can be
seen as a new stage in life. Almost a
new start if you want to meet the challenge that way. Every day I get up and say this is going to
be a new start. I am all about new starts now.
The definition of midlife to me is a new chapter of life. I came up with a plan on how to start this
new chapter. I need to get rid of the
stress I have been under for so many years trying to defeat the symptoms of
menopause. I have tried everything the doctors want to me
try. As you can see it’s not
working. I feel like I might need to
come to terms with the symptoms that just aren’t going to change no matter how
hard I work at them, the weight for instance.
Even if you were to take hormones or any of those other remedies it’s
still not going to change the fact that I am in midlife. I have chosen a new path to try to help
myself through this stage and I know not everyone can go to the extremes I am
taking. I have bought a house on the ocean
beach. Weight I feel like changing my eating
habits will also help. Once I get to my
house one of the first things to do is change my way of eating. This will be a major factor in the weight,
but a big factor of menopause is the sugar cravings. Just like when you are on your period you
crave sweets, you also do so when in menopause because of the hormone
fluctuations. I can be sitting there
just fine and next think you know it’s like those shows where people are
smoking pot and getting the munchies.
Yeah, I look like the cookie monster nom nom nom! So, I have found this site on the internet
EatingWell.com. I have followed this
diet before and am going to do it again.
I stop eating sugar, which by the way is hard to do, and follow this
diet. All of the foods are easy to
prepare, they give you a choice of what to prepare and what I do is add or
subtract spices or an ingredient. The
diet keeps you within the suggested calorie intake limit so it’s a no brainer. Hot
Flashes Relief At the ocean beach it never gets over
seventy five there. Medical MD says if
you can keep cool it will help your hot flashes. I figure this will help a little if I can
never be in a place where it doesn’t reach eighty degrees. The mist from the ocean is always pleasant. I have always had a good experience with
that. It even softens my skin! This time though, it’s there to keep me cool. Mood
Swings When I have mood swings I can
generally feel them before I go crazy on everyone. Now what I plan to do for this is go for a
walk. Now that I will be on the ocean
beach there will be no excuse for me not to exercise. Exercise is an important part of mood swing
control. I can comb the beaches, climb
the rocks, or walk a trail. Exercise is
one the most recommended remedies for menopause. I haven’t gotten a lot of this lately. I get a walk to school and back but then we
are on our butts doing homework. My
pledge from May 12, 2013 though is to get out there and walk or run, a little
farther each day. Insomnia I haven’t come to a conclusion about
what I am going to do about this symptom.
The doctors try to hand you sleeping pills but my plan is to really go
all natural and try to get through this part of my life. Even melatonin is considered natural but I
mean I want to put nothing into my body.
The best I can say about this is I’m hoping the extra exercise and
coolness of the beach will help me sleep.
If not…….I’ll write more stories! Yay! Fuzzy
Thinking I’m not sure that all I’m doing is
going to help this part of my menopause symptoms. Exercise might help, sleeping if I can, might
help. I hope I am not doomed for the
rest of my life to look like an idiot when I can’t think straight. Heart
Palpitations I have a cardiologist to work with
me on the heart palpitations. I thought
I wouldn’t need her once I found out that these palpitations were just part of
menopause. She suggested I keep seeing
her though because they can actually develop into something more serious. Unwanted
hair growth There are some prescription
medicines you can use for the extra hair growth during menopause. I am unwilling at this moment to pay for
something like that. This is just one of
the symptoms I am going to deal with. I
have my trusty pair of tweezers. When
they wear out I’ll buy more. If I turn
to the prescriptions it is not exactly doing this process naturally. End
I hope that when this menopausal part of
my life ends I will be a healthy older woman.
I want to enjoy my life to the fullest and live a long time. Helping myself through this process rather
than relying on the medications is the first step. I’ll be sitting in the glass sun room
which is built off of the side of my bluish grey house, so warm and cozy
watching the ocean waves come in and out.
As the waves come in the ocean tries to pull them back in. It’ll never let them go. I’ll close my eyes and listen to what the
ocean has to say. I’m sure it will be
saying “you’re welcome,” For helping me though this difficult time in my life,
and taking me on to the next phase of womanhood. Works Cited Loprinzi, L, DL Barton, JA Sloan, KM Zahasky, DA Smith, S Pruthi,
PJ Novotny, EA Perez, and BJ Christensen. " Treating Hot
Flashes." Mayo Clinic Proceedings. Mayo Clinic. 77.11 (2002):
1159-63. Print. © 2013 sunnydaisy |
Stats
128 Views
Added on June 17, 2013 Last Updated on June 17, 2013 Author
|
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Read Request
My Library
Subscribe
Flag Writing