The tortoise and my hair

A poem that includes the words: Arms, Cheeks, Toes, Chest, Face, Hair and Head.

She said “get yer comb love, you’re about to get pulled”,

and before I knew it we were sharing a bed.

One morning, as she laid in my arms,

I said to her,

“don’t you think it’s interesting,

that as each second passes

we are literally growing up together?”

Then all of a sudden the colourful glow in her cheeks

washed away and her toes curled

as her body tightened up to the point

where it felt uncomfortable for her

to stay draped over my chest.

So she sat up, looked at my face and pulled the one grey hair out of my head.

After my initial “ouch” and the “what did you do that for?”

she opened her mouth and said “I did it because

I don’t want to us to grow up together”.

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

We cannot stop time or grey hairs from invading. Love is frail and mortal, so is the human flesh. Brief but enjoyable. Thank you for sharing.

-youoweyoupay

[....]

interesting and quite intrguing in a way. Got a chuckle out of a few lines. Nicely done.

[Jim]

I love the tone and the imagery. You do a great job of capturing a personal moment and making it relevant to a larger human concern--the fear of aging.

In line 3, "laid" should be "lay."

[imawriter]

as the old saying goes.. i may grow old, but i refuse to grow up. We should all continue to look at life with childlike curiousity... I love this poem

[Robyn]

this piece has some intriguing elements...and it made me smile

[Blake Q Hatfield]

Very intriguing piece. The way things progressed at the end gives the reader pause to wonder what the phrase meant to her. It could go a few ways, and that adds a nice pondering point. Well done!

[Anna]

This was very intresting. I need to think about this.

[Miss Coral]

Love it; it's unique as all of your writing is, but it has a wonderful tone to it as well. Love the playful ending and the wonderful use of language. Really great piece- definitely going into my favorites. :)

-Coral-

[Dawn Jones]

awe, very 'peter pan' in a sense.
I like 'her' because she would rather be young and youthful, and (to me) is obviously afraid of growing old and losing the passion they share.

[Caitlynxoxo]

"she opened her mouth and said “I did it because
I don’t want to us to grow up together”."

A very cute ending to an equally cute poem! This was good, sort of like a back and forth between you and this girl, but with better dialogue and emotion :) LOVED IT! thanks for sharing

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo