I could not say

Short skirts and lust

Excited by your invitation,

delighted by the imagination,

Gyrated, elated,

the feeling’s overly belated,

Overrated games,

with understated consequences,

Breaking down fences in seconds,

your heart beckons,

I reckon I’ve made a mistake;

I faked my own devotion,

A dirty love potion,

built on lies and lusted emotions,

“I hate you” and “I love you” in the same vein,

That look of disdain,

and pain in your words,

And the mentioning of me and her,

in seconds and thirds

Persons embraced, others disgraced,

and I am faced

With the fact that if a heart is not broken

there is no need to fix it,

So why am I standing here

with a needle and thread,

and stitches above my eye,

with blood on my shirt,

mixed with bad emotions and dirt,

All because I couldn’t keep my hands away from that skirt.

Reviews

[˙]

This is a very powerful statement here. I agree with the first reviewer, it's a dangerous mix. Your writing is amazing. The only change I would make (and i am guilty of this ALL the time) is not to start with 'and' two times in a row.

And stitches about my eye,
And Blood on my shirt

I'd say

And stitches above my eyes
With blood on my shirt

It helps it flow better.
But this poem is GREAT

[Claws Of Fury]

Such a pleasure to read. Good job! I really love the line:

"I hate you and I love you in the same vein"

Beautiful.

[Ramiz Ilham Khan]

Incredible. :-)

[Shelby. Loves ya. :3]

i also agree tht its a powerful statment. i love peoms. Keep up the great work.

[Geralyn Miller]

How novel and uncharacteristic, a male who KNOWS what he did. LOL
I enjoyed your use of language, the rhymes are not strained, they are just part of the powerful flow. So deliciously wicked.

[Ladysue]

A very strong write...great rhythm. I love this line...

why am i standing here with needle and thread

[Nikhil Sharda]

hahahah Brilliant !!!!!

[darkgurl]

why am i stanidng here with needle and thread"...enjoyed that line. Such a powerful write!

[Robyn]

daring piece

[Ms. Gruye]

greetings:

I would like to be upfront that usually I only like rhyming poetry if coming from Dorothy Parker or Sage Francis. However, when I do find a rhyming poem I like I tend to dissect the individual lines and absorb the piece as a whole, as many words are chosen for they rhyming capability and not on the merit of their meaning.

With that said, I thought this poem had a substantial lyrical quality. the word choice here kept my eyes and mind in sync. When read outloud, it sings ten fold that praise. You have a talent for meter. I also liked the last line, I found it very clever. Isn't is amazing how our compulsions around the smallest things can herald a world of hurt.

viva la

[Leech Wife]

Wonderful flow! And the story it's telling? You've left me wanting more.