Chapter One

Loud. That’s all I remember. Everywhere, I could feel it, hear it, smell the burning rubber. Everything became so slow, seconds felt like hours, hours felt like days. I saw the glass shattering piece by piece, breaking apart like a warm knife through butter. Then lights, everywhere, becoming brighter as they neared us. Strange noises filled the air, hair raising noises. The ones no one ever wishes to hear, like tearing metal right by your head. I wanted it to stop, for him to wrap me in his arms like he always did…but there was nothing I could do, except let the blackness surround me…

“zon’t zell me khow zo do my job,” Mr. Yikvondish retorted. It was the middle of a very, very boring Monday morning when I was at it again. My silly brain which happens to know every single fact known to man (not literally, but you get what I mean) made me pick up on every little mistake Mr. Yikvondish made.

“But sir, that’s not the only way to solve a linear equation”, I said pointing at the white board covered in maths equations containing lots of x’s, y’s and a’s. He had been going on about how “you can’t group numbers and pro-numerals to find x” for at least three hours.  

It took him one whole lesson to go through the history of algebra and the beginning of a “revolution” as he oh so kindly put it. Look, the thing is I never really liked maths, it’s just that I can figure out any equation you give me, but I don’t enjoy it; things just seem to click. This little talent hasn’t really helped in the department of my social status. I am considered to be the biggest nerd in year nine, much to my dislike. Everyone thinks I sit around doing maths problems all weekend and never leave the house, but it’s not true!!!! 

I have a life, I go to the cinemas, I go shopping and all that. I just…don’t have many friends from school. And the ones I do have only ever asked me how to figure out a simple maths problem.

“Shut up!” Sam whispered to me. I glared at him, unable to look away from those gorgeous sharp blue eyes. So…maybe…I like him…but he never notices me. I’m just the nerd; he has to sit next to me in maths class.

By this time Mr. Yikvondish was standing in front of my desk, bald head shining with perspiration.

“Look, Alice” he said, almost kindly “if you zon’t like my zeaching mezzods, zan zake it up wiz someone who cares, go and speak too za princibal!” his voice was full of rage and annoyance that it was hard not to feel stupid by his remarks. I mean just because I have different methods of solving a linear equation which I probably won’t ever need to do, doesn’t mean he had to yell at me!!! Little did I know that what I was about to do next, would change my life forever…

Suddenly, in that instant, all my anger at people making rumours about me, at Sam for never noticing me, at my self for not doing anything about it! It all finally spilled over in a torrent of crashing words.

“Fine, then! I will!” and I stormed out of the room, making sure to slam the door as hard as possible. The resounding “boom!” that came from it, followed me through the silent corridors to the principal’s office. There I sat, in the nice, clean, freshly painted admin office. The receptionist, Ms. Stomp who had a bob of red hair that looked as if it was on fire when she walked in the sun, long sharp fingernails and a hooked nose giving you the impression of an evil witch, was typing rapidly when I walked in.

I had never really met her before, so we were equally shocked by my reason for being there.

“Oh, I see”, she said after I explained the situation.

“Um… take a seat the principal is busy at the moment,” she said, before returning to her typing. In the silence that followed, everything that was weighing down on my shoulders gave way to my reasoning.

This was the first time I ever let my temper get the better of me, and when my anger disappeared to nothing more than thin air, I realized what a mistake I’d made. Thinking back, I never really figured out what caused me to get so angry, I guess it was fate.

Suddenly my shoulders slumped forward and I let my head hang in my hands. What had I done? I shouldn’t be here; I should be back in class working on maths. Something deep inside of me growled with my bottled up anger. I felt like hitting something because no one ever seemed to understand me, not even the teachers. Mr. Yikvondish was a perfect example of this. Why couldn’t I just have listened to Sam? Why did I always have to get my-self into trouble?

The tears rolled down my cheeks and stained the intricately woven blue carpet. I couldn’t quite tell how long I stayed there wallowing in my anger, before the large, maroon door of the principal’s office opened.  Maybe it was an hour or even five minutes, all I know is when those doors opened, everything changed.

It had never occurred to me to wonder about who the principal was talking to in there. Or why no one came to ask how I was.

“…so that’s about all you need to know”, said principal Thomrose in his finest display of professionalism. I looked up to see him shaking the hand of a tall, slightly darker than tan, muscular boy looking as if he had just been given a text book of maths to go through in a day.

“…thanks, when do I get to have a tour of the school?” he asked, slightly more harshly than polite. Inwardly, I screamed for him, because if there’s one thing you need to know about this school, its this: NEVER QUESTION THE PRINICIPAL! I can’t emphasise this enough, NEVER!!!!

“Of course!” he said, looking round, “ah, Alice, captain of the maths club and the debating team, how would you like to show Landon around the finest school in the district?” he smiled; this wasn’t a question it was an order.

“Uh, sure, follow me”, I said looking at Landon. His eyes were a rich brown with thick black lashes rimming them. When he looked back at me, it was with a gentle expression as he tried to read my tear stained face.  

I walked out of the admin office with him trailing behind. The second I was out of there, a long sigh escaped me; my strange fate had again redeemed itself, leaving me with this new student who seemed more than interested in the school I consider to be equivalent to prison.

“So where do you want to go first?” I asked him, hoping it wouldn’t be to my class. He shifted awkwardly on his feet as he glanced at one of many brochures he juggled. Trying to grab a hold of one while holding the others seemed easier said than done when they all tumbled to the floor.

Without thinking I bent down and started picking them up, trying to learn as much as I could without asking him anything. One very fancy brochure had big red letters across the top which read: How to Apply for a Scholarship at Buckleberry College. So he was smart and interesting.

“Oops, you don’t have to do that, I’ve got it” he blurted out while he rushed to pick up the ones I’d missed. As we both went to grab the last leaflet, our hands brushed past each other and something changed in both of us. It was like a spark of recognition ran through us, quick as lightening. There was no pain, just a warm fuzzy feeling like you’ve been laying in the sun on a perfect spring day. We looked at each other and smiled, like we were long lost friends.

“I hear this place has a swimming pool…” Landon whispered, still smiling.

“Want to see?” I inquired.

“Why not?” He questioned. So we were off, walking down corridor after corridor, talking about anything and everything from classes to the teachers.

“So how long have you been here?” he asked

“Since prep” I answered as we walked. The school seemed to be silent the entire time we walked through it. The ghostly stillness around us would have scared me, but something about Landon’s easy going nature seemed to numb my senses of everything except him.

“And do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool” inside, I was bursting to tell the truth: I hated it here!!! Quietly, I battled myself to keep my true feelings hidden, but something heavy filled the air, similar to the thick smoke of a burning fire, suffocating with every breath…

Blank. That’s all it was. My mind was blank from everything. Quietly lulling it-self into oblivion. But I didn’t want to be here, I didn’t ask for this. All I needed was him. Where was he? Where was I?

“Please come back to me…” that voice!!! I knew that voice! But where was it coming from? It made the pain go away…

We burst through the doors of the large swimming pool, warm air flying around us like butterflies. The rush of flowing water was louder than I expected while Mr. Puttrock barked orders at his P.E class.

“Tom! What are you doing?! GET BACK HERE NOW!” he sounded more like a drill sergeant than a teacher, maybe that was his dream job. It sure did seem like it.

“Is he always like this?” Landon asked with a nervous laugh.

“Yep, would you like to meet him?” I joked because the truth is better to laugh at than admit; Mr. Puttrock hated everyone, except of course, his precious swimming squad, which no one can actually qualify for as he expects perfection in every aspect of the word. Not even me, and I love swimming!

Last year, we had Miss Walkingson as the swimming squad coach. She was a tall skinny woman with long, dead, straight, black hair. Some people thought of her as the worst teacher in the world because her method of teaching involved nothing more than copying things off the whiteboard and listening to hours and hours of non-stop talking. Now that I think about it, that does sound pretty bad…But when she was coaching, it was like she was a totally different person. Miss Walkingson actually wanted to have fun swimming, and for a teacher, that’s like finding out Santa isn’t real, it can’t be!

But then she had to leave and Mr Puttrock replaced her, making school that one little bit worse.

“Nah, I think I’ll pass on that” Landon answered calmly. I watched him cautiously, taking in every little detail; his face was the perfect shape with a sharp jaw and a short, neatly cut afro. And those eyes! They watch you like you’re the most important thing in the world with kind and caring written all over them. They give you a strange sensation; like time stood still and all your worries just fade away while your heart warms with all his love and compassion. I know, this doesn’t make sense because I had only just met him, but right at the moment I knew that I was in love with him. Simple as that; it was love at first sight.

***

Author's Note

Please be critical and honest. But try to ignore grammer and punctuation mistakes.
Thanks for reading :)

Sunflower

Reviews

[Call Me Blu]

Hmm... well it is a quite interesting pot, and the characters are proggressing nicely. I haven't had the chance to move on, but I certainly hope that we get to meet her "friends". I am in love with that math teacher! (lol not like that though.....) and Landon seems very nice. However I find it a little strange that they are standing at the pool and the coach hasn't come over. I think that would be a great little detail to add and it would make this story even better.
READ, WRITE, REVIEW

[SuicidePact.]

i love the way you opened this story, you drew me in as the reader and I am excited to continue reading..

[Coyote Poetry]

A very strong opening chapter. I like the storyline and the description of location and the characters. I like the internal thoughts and situations in this chapter. A excellent chapter.
Coyote

[Meat of Dog]

I really like how this story started, mostly because I can relate! I'm currently in Algebra II class in college and I FEEL the narrator's pain. The story itself has a feel of being like a confession of memoir, which is an interesting break from traditional fiction. Also, I feel like you have targeted your age group (I'm outside of it, but was roped in with interest due to the coincidence of still being in school), and young people who can also relate with be drawn in.

I like your descriptions of the woman in the admin office, of her witch like appearance. The mental imagine I got was a good one. I like Landon, I'm interested to see where things go with them, especially with their contradiction of one loving school and the other hating it. It's interesting to read a story about love at first sight, also! My only advice would be not to fall short of advancing their relationship as friends (and possibly more) as you would if the love was developing. The reader needs that development to get attached to the characters.

other suggestions:
-" “zon’t zell me khow zo do my job,” Mr. Yikvondish " I'm all for broken English in regards to foreign characters, in fact, it gives them more character. This is a little heavy though. It took me a second to register what was being said, which broke up the flow.
-" “Look, Alice” he said, almost kindly “if you zon’t like my zeaching mezzods, zan zake it up wiz someone who cares, go and speak too za princibal!” his voice was full of rage and annoyance that it was hard not to feel stupid by his remarks. " There's a contradiction here that says he's talking kindly, but is full of rage. Is he understanding, or angry?

[KAREN]

The few mistakes I saw didn't take away from the story at all. Kept me wanting to read on. Good plot to the story as well!
READ