Circle

Dystopian setting, romantic scene ^_^

                 ***

For the first time in my life, I could see the earth’s surface. And my god, it was something. Miles upon miles of sparkling streams cutting through lush forests, the canopy dancing effortlessly in the wind. The sky--it was unlike any picture I’d seen back Below. A swirl of colors, emanating from an ambient glowing disk on the horizon, spread throughout the heaven’s, bathing the land in a celestial glow. Pink and pale blue puffs tumbled peacefully above.  Indigo soaked up the edges, slowly reeling the lighter colors into its enigmatic magic. A flock of birds flew past and I watched, enamored by their nonchalant freedom. A freedom I, too, now felt. The spaciousness felt as if it were a living entity, breathing life into form and dancing along the formless.

I laughed, dangling my feet off the dangerously suspended railing on which we perched. I turned to Rhys, unable to contain the excitement bursting through me and stretched my lips higher than the lofty towering structure we had climbed. He bounced back a smile as brilliant as the sunset, his silver eyes reflecting bits of orange, gold, and crimson like a kaleidoscope. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”  he said. I didn’t know how to reply. Beautiful didn’t cut it. This was beyond any concoction of consonants the human language could piece together. So I nodded and squeezed the hand wrapped around mine, the magnanimous beauty of the scene dispelling all nervousness I’d felt earlier.

“Thank you.” I whispered, my eyes verging on tears. “This is the best birthday present I could ever receive.” I couldn’t thank him enough. I wanted to kiss him right then and there. I turned away immediately, embarrassed at the raciness of the thought. What are you thinking Circle? He’s Somi. You could get yourself killed. But somehow, seated on top of world, feeling so free and seeing all of this, I didn’t care. I didn’t care about Shade or the government or even Marie. All I cared for was this.

Then, he touched my shoulders, his fingertips sending a shiver down my spine. I looked at him. He caught me by surprise. “Rhys…” I’d never seen him like this before. His cheeks had soaked in a crimson tint from the sky, and he gazed at me as if seeing me the first time, completely mesmerized. The breeze tousled his pale silvery hair and I had a sudden urge to brush it from his eyes. The urge alone sent my heart into quivers.

“Circle, you’re....beautiful.” He breathed, those tantalizing eyes pulling me in again. Warmth spread through my cheeks. His gaze lowered seductively to my lips, then fluttered back up to my eyes. My chest pounded, both from fear of being caught and fear that I’d lose myself to the painfully handsome boy sitting beside me.

I hesitantly brought my hand to his shoulder, tortured by the desire to touch him and the fear that held my hand suspended in the air. He laughed and clasped my hand in his, placing it onto his warm chest. I widened my eyes in surprise. “You’re so cute.” He teased. Was he was complimenting me or making fun of me? I lowered my eyes, heat rising to my face.

“Maybe we shouldn’t-”

“Hey, don’t be afraid. I’m not illegal.” I looked up. His eyes swam with sincerity and warmth. I softened a bit. Oh, but you are illegal, I thought, a smile rising to my lips. Well, not actually, but you should be. I moved my hand up his chest, a little less tense than before. I suddenly became aware of the space between us. Millimeters, if even.

Rhys brought his hand to my cheek and gently caressed my face, brushing my hair aside. His heated touch contrasted sharply with my very first impression of him--ice cold. Little did I know that this ice sculpture of a guy carried so much fire inside. You just had to let him thaw, that’s all.

My arm glided around his neck and I lost myself in his gaze yet again. A rapturous fire danced in his irises, on verge of spilling onto me. Maybe burning alive wouldn’t be so bad, I thought.

Then he pulled me in, lips melting into mine.

 

(I didn't finish writing this part...so skip the kiss for now. Then, a paragraph to later it continues..)

 

 

 

The only thing between us now was the breeze curling through, and the ever present space. A few fiery moments later and it all seemed to dissipate. Me, him, space. All melded into one. I couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. Perhaps there was no end or beginning. No me or him. There never was, I realized. There was only this.

A circle.

 

 

Author's Note

fyi the main girls name is Circle

Ok, so this isn't from the book I'm writing, its gonna be a later scene from the sequel haha (I know i haven't even written my first book, but the imagery was coming to me and I couldn't help it)

Any comments welcome, specifically is the imagery too much? too wordy?

Reviews

[The Exiled Wolf]

To answer your questions -
I find the imagery of the first paragraph fine. It may seem too much in other circumstances, but this is what it should be in the eyes of a girl seeing this for the first time. And the rest of the scene is also worth penning a few more words - it's the first kiss anyway.

Your word choices are splendid, and you are good at expressing emotions and thoughts within the imagery. This scene is excellent!

[AriaTargaryen]

Ah thank you! Yeah I don't plan to write the whole thing with that much detail haha but for this scene it seemed right ^_^

Thank you for reviewing!

[emmajoy]

Fine writing, great use of words/vocabulary but not over-elaborate and a true flow of place, dialogue and 'allure'. As to the intro into another place, was gentle yet exciting, made so by your phrasing. By the end of it, wanted more, not in the sensual sense but in the aftermath of such an unexpected and beautiful arrival. Please continue this or at least include it in your adamantly proposed sequel!

[Carol Cashes]

Indigo soaked up the edges, slowly reeling the lighter colors into its enigmatic magic. Beautiful...and perfect. Excellent use of different adjectives for description. Excellent command of all the possibilities of the English language period.

[AriaTargaryen]

Thank you so much! ^_^