Debating Alice's Fate (A Play In One Act)A Story by December Blaize A scene about a woman who dies and the events that surround her placement in the Afterlife. Mixes Greek mythology with Christian Bible characters.
SETTING: The Underworld (includes the Fields of Asphodel, the Fields of Punishment/Hell, and Elysium/Heaven)
CHARACTERS: ALICE: a 22-year-old woman who just died in a car crash HADES: king of the Underworld MIDAS: former king of Phrygia whose touch turned things to gold due to a foolish wish, now one of the Afterlife Placement Judges EVE: the first woman, who is blamed for condemning mankind by eating a fruit, now one of the Afterlife Placement Judges SEVERUS SNAPE: powerful wizard who walked the line between light and dark and saved Harry Potter, now one of the Afterlife Placement Judges HERMES: the messenger god, whose job description also requires him to transport the Dead to Hades ACT ONE, SCENE ONE Alice steps off the boat onto the black sands of the Underworld. ALICE: Where am I? Am I dead? HERMES: You, my dear, are in the Underworld, therefore you are dead. ALICE: The Underworld?! What kind of nonsense is this? HERMES: (sighs) Look, I'm busy, just go wait in line to see the Judges, they'll see to it you get to your correct Sector, where you will spend the remainder of your Eternity, blah, blah, blah, really, I know you're dead, but can't you just read the signs? ALICE: Hmph! This is ridiculous! MIDAS: ALICE JAMESON! Step up to await your fate! EVE: Oh, that rhymed! [Snape rolls eyes] ALICE: Honestly, this is the strangest dream I've ever had... SNAPE: I assure you, Miss Jameson, this is no dream. Death is as real as it gets. MIDAS: Now, we must attend to the matter of your Afterlife Placement. ALICE: My what? EVE: Your Afterlife Placement. The Sector of the Underworld you will spend eternity in. Really, it's not that hard to understand. ALICE: Oh! I remember! There was a car crash... I flew threw the windshield... my God, I really am dead! SNAPE: Actually, there is no one God... you are in the Underworld, and your king is Hades, Lord of the Dead. ALICE: You look familiar... EVE: Oh, please, I'm so sick of this story! Can't we just get on with your condemnation, I mean placement? MIDAS: Let's take a look at her past, shall we? [Takes out a gold iPad] ALICE: You've got to be joking. EVE: Oh no, a certain inventor just recently died... he was nice enough to share his wonderful creations with us! MIDAS: Hmph! She cheated on tests throughout high school, forged signatures on a number of legal documents, and was drinking and driving when she crashed that car and ended up dead. SNAPE: And she illegally downloaded all seven Harry Potter movies! ALICE: Now wait a minute! EVE: Are there any good things in her past? SNAPE: Who cares? Her sins are worthy of the Fields of Punishment! EVE: But she volunteered at an animal shelter! She also donated food to the homeless every year at Christmas! ALICE: Don't I get a say in this? MIDAS: No, you do not. However, your case is rather difficult. Alice, would you care to explain your erratic behaviors? ALICE: Ummm... I was possessed? SNAPE: Liar! She is lying before the Judges, to the Fields of Punishment with her! EVE: No, no, I understand this girl. I think she is a good person overall, simply tricked into unfortunate circumstances. SNAPE: You would know all about that. EVE: And you wouldn't? Haven't we all been deceived, manipulated, taken advantage of? Haven't we all been treated unfairly? MIDAS: That is enough! She should be sent to the Fields of Asphodel, with all of the other souls who are neither good nor bad. SNAPE: No! The Fields of Punishment! EVE: Alice is a good person! I say she goes to Elysium! MIDAS: [sighs] The vote must be unanimous! Shall I call Hades to settle this? [dials 666 on his iPhone] [Enter HADES in a cloud of smoke] HADES: WHY DID YOU SUMMON ME?! I was trying to find Cerberus... Persephone turned him into a bumblebee again... MIDAS: We have a problem with Alice Jameson's Afterlife Placement. The Judges do not agree. HADES: Really, I can't deal with this again! I say we get some new Judges! MIDAS: That would take too long... we still need to resolve the issue of Miss Jameson's Placement! HADES: I will make her a Judge then! All three of you were unresolved cases as well. That is the requirement for becoming a Judge. EVE: Who will she replace then? [glares at Snape] HADES: Hmmm... I didn't think of that. SNAPE: Please my lord, rid the Panel of this troublesome woman, Eve! HADES: Aha! I shall replace ALL of you! I already have new Judges in mind! [Enter STEVE JOBS and KURT COBAIN] HADES: There! You see, these two also had rather disputable cases! They are perfect! ALICE: NOW you've got to be kidding! HADES: I am afraid not. It is resolved, I am a genius! SNAPE: But, lord, what will become of us now? [looks nervously at Midas and Eve] HADES: Ugh! I hate this job! It's one problem after another! Can't you annoying people just stop dying? ALICE: I wish. [Exit HADES, SNAPE, EVE, and MIDAS] END OF SCENE ONE. © 2012 December BlaizeAuthor's Note
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December BlaizeNCAboutI've been pretty much inactive for a while now. If you're reading this, thank you for your time, and I hope you enjoy my writing, but just know that I have no plans to post anything new at the moment.. more..Writing
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