Let Me Be

Let me be a skylark

In your evening sky,

Let me fly with your blue

Nudge your tears, touch your sigh.

Let me be the waves 

In your dancing ocean, 

Let me splash on your shore

With burning yearn and pensive passion.

Let me be the moonlight

In your sleepless nights,

Let me reflect the hue of soul

From endless heights.

Let me be a dewdrop 

On your crimson rose

Let me live, let me die

Be there, with you closer and close.

Reviews

[Mister_Sir]

Oh, yes. I definitely like this one. It has such a mature and passionate tone, which I find highly attractive. My favorite stanza is the first, and the last is a close second. I particularly favored these three verses:
"Nudge your tears, touch your sigh" and "Let me be a dewdrop" and "Be there, with you closer and close."
The imagery throughout the entire piece was strong, and these three I felt were greatest. I have an uncanny obsession with tears and dewdrops, you see. And I really liked the "closer and close." It reminded me of the line in Poe's The Raven: "Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster."
As for suggestions, I just have two, regarding the last two lines. Change the first comma to a semicolon, and the second should be removed:

"Let me live; let me die
Be there with you closer and close."

That is all.

Neuroticall yours,
Mister Splitbrain

[Tks]

Wow, this was a very nice poem! I loved the way you used so much imagery...itwas very nice. keep it up!

[W R Stowe]

Very alluring description of desire for wanting to love and be with them all the way nice poem