unanswered

i remained so........

I asked my destiny-
and he chuckled once.
I asked him again, and
he thrashed me.
I asked my tree-
shivering leaves blew away;
away they took my impulse.
whispered;
" You have the right to remain unanswered".

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

I don't see the need for the first four lines. Sorry, but you should either edit or remove. The reason I say it is, The other lines are incredibly profound (But the first few lines are blunt and naked). You could've very well made it a Tanka. I'd be really glad if you did (Just in case, if you don't know, Tanka is built in syllabe counts of 5-7-5-7-7) :) Keep writing.

[Tina Kline]

I like this, its very impressive. You used great imagery to say we just don't get to know our destiny. Nice job.

[sayandeep kundu]

Whoa!.. Nice ... You see, our pains can paint the colors of poetic ecstasy...It was just so beautifully written, friend..