Please ..Be For Me

Please ..Be For Me

 

My heart want to speak

I want you to be unique

And never be freak

And try to give me a real peak …

 

I’m here alone walking between the trains

Looking for  you and on my head it rains

I feel the coldness moving between my veins

But your love is killing me with its chains…

 

I want to be feeling so fee

Will you come now with me

And let us forget the tree

That you let me under. Do you agree ?

 

There is nothing to say anymore

Here is my pen moving and knocking on your door

Will you open this time, or let me stay on the floor

Please baby .. Today let me score my last goal …

 

14/2/2012

Author's Note

I hope you like it :D

Reviews

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

how heartfelt!

[Thea]

Yay, like the rhyme scheme...Simple yet well managed...
You really did great here!
You inspired? Haha!
:)))

[Becky Clancy]

I love it :DDD I can't wait to read more of your work :)))))))

[Shy Girl]

This was a very nice piece you have wrote here. The wanting and sing song way you tapped into your emotions was very soft and flowing. I liked it very much :)

[Sweets]

This defines awesomeness =3
the rhyme gives it more beauty xD
Wonderful work !

[Tai Ryens]

Again, the metaphors here were simple, yet brilliantly pieced with the other lines of the poem. I don't see any major grammar/spelling problems, except for the third stanza. I believe you mean free? Being a fee, and being free are two completely different things, haha.
Great job, keep it up!

[M.Babu]

There was a heartfeltedness in this...it was real and came from deep down...

Keep writing my friend! You're growing!!!

~M.Babu~

[khalid]

so nice poem. keep on

[Team_Jaward_Gale]

idid loved it

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

"Please baby .. Today let me score my last goal …"

Hehe....football analogy....

with this one you scored a cracker...right into the top corner :D

take a bow girl :D