Me ...But not you

We were sitting alone

With you talking about your lovely girl

And my heart is crying

While my lips are smiling …

 

They entered without knocking

They broke the door and enter

They said they want to take you …

 

I couldn’t let that happen

I put my soul

Between the hands of God

And went to a battle

That I don’t know if it exist …

 

All I said was :

“ Take my heart

And leave his safe …

Take my soul

And leave his warm …

Kill me then rip my bones

Scatter them all around

But if you touched him

My broken bones

Will gather again

Forming a sword

That would kill you all “

 

I left the home

And didn’t come back again

One day left

They told you

That I was Slaughtered

And I was buried beside your bed …

 

You have no words to say

Just tears to shade

After reading the last words

From my hands :

“I will keep my heart

To love you more

And my mind

To think about you more

And my soul will fly

Really really high

To protect you

Through your up’s and downs

And watch you at  your nights “

 

I love you in my life

And my end

 

I adore you

                                                                  13/8/2011

                                                                     8:45 PM

Author's Note

i hope you like this as i did :)
Dedicated for you ~s~


Enjoy :))

Reviews

[M.Babu]

There is so much to commend in this piece i don't know where to start...

"And my heart is crying
While my lips are smiling …"
The irony in this statement was well played. I can relate to this and i have no idea why your phrasing made me jump:) Lovely.

"Take my heart
And leave his safe …
Take my soul
And leave his warm …
Kill me then rip my bones
Scatter them all around
But if you touched him
My broken bones
Will gather again
Forming a sword
That would kill you all"
This was such a powerful part of the piece. The emotiveness was overwhelming and i felt the persona's love for the 'man', her hatred of anything that might harm her precious....it all just ripped so seamlessly through me as i read it and left more than that common fleeting feeling often associated with poetry. It sort of lingered on me....and for that i thank you:)

This was amazing work...i definitely enjoyed this as much as you wanted.
I'm officially a fan.

~M.Babu~

[Yina]

I've been through the first paragragh myself only in a more complicated way.
You did wondeful in describing the love this girl has:) (you?)

[Linda]

Obsessive loveeee, soooo likey xxoxo

[Dove]

This is really amazing! i love it and i love all the colors. This is just an amazing poem

[WritersSoul]

Awww, i love the first paragraph :') its soo relatable, and hard to get rid of the feeling. Its well deep in the last few paragraphs, but thast what makes it interesting ^^ Great write, love it and very interesting to read :)

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Good work..!!!

[Tai Ryens]

Saw the review you posted, so I decided to return the favor :) Well, this was fantastically written, I loved all the mental images that this gave me. I like it, and I can say this is a great write.

[TJ]

This was a simply fantastic piece. You're imagery was amazing, the scenes you painted cascaded such vivid images across my mind! Loved it. In te beginning it seemed a poem of someone longing silently for one they could not attain, but would do anything to protect this person! And the person only realized when it was too late!
Great write!

[Jackson Lai]

What a great poem...

[Tasha]

I liked it. It was amazing, and I liked your use of color. :)
♥ Ta'Shandra