Can you

Can you feel the word

Like  eating or touching a sword ?

 

Can you call the stars

For being  alone in the sky ?

 

Can you stare at the end

As it is your waiting destiny ?

 

Can you light the flame

And burn the world but you are not to be blame ?

 

Can you raise the flag

Of you freedom and hold your goodbye bag ?

 

Can you see me today

Because I’ll be yours from tomorrow !!!

Author's Note

i hope you like this.. i just wrote that and i don't think that there is an idea ...
hope you like this
enjoy :)

Reviews

[MYSELF]

Black,

I read your authors note as it says there is no idea intact yet I would say its a mixed feeling of emotions and thoughts which bind together to remember a loved one.

I don't know if you would agree to my perception but this was what came to my mind.

The last 4 lines

"Can you raise the flag
Of you freedom and hold your goodbye bag ?

Can you see me today
Because I’ll be yours from tomorrow !!!"

which indicated to me as the mind wants to free the soul
yet the passion of love wants to be confined to the love.

Yes I would say that the poem was a bit haphazard yet was a really nice piece of work put together in a simple way..

Good work worth the appreciation..
:D

MYLIFE

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Good one..!!!

[M.Babu]

"Can you see me today
Because I’ll be yours from tomorrow !!!"

i definitely agree with @MYSELF....there is no way that this piece doesnt contain an idea...it merges a collection of them and then tries to communicate with an alert reader.

I definitely liked what you did with this...asking if it is possible to do a myriad of things while keeping another. This is a very different piece to what is so commonplace on this site. I like different.

Nicely done!!

~M.Babu~

[EMF]

Beautiful, brilliant, slightly mad, in a good way, deep and funny. Sheer perfection

[nevermindfan1991]

This was very interesting and well written. I enjoyed reading this and I loved your creative format. Great Job!

[brenda]

sweet i love how it all ends nice poem !:)

[Darkest Rose]

I love this and life can be like one question after another so you captured that well! Awesome write :)

[Jeremy Baker]

Life is full of questions like this ... I like the answers you gave!

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

A wonderful poem, that oozes thought and wisdom. Fantastic write :)