The Last Battle .

By the river we sat down with silence dominating the place

Every star was peaking, expecting a hug or a stolen kiss,

But they all went disappointing to bed that last night.

 

Everything we were saying was unheard and unspoken words

That loud noise we created was within our volcanic eruptions

But the silence was tearing our feeling apart, it was tearing us apart !

 

Stars were falling all for you that night, you were magnificent

But when you uttered your spell even devils stepped away

And I was the only one in that battle, against who ? You ?.

 

My angels threw their weapons and they called for peace

But your devils refused what they called and started to pace

I would've said anything I want to, but I was spoiled when i said that I love you.

 

Every devil threw his weapon onto the center of my beats

At that moment I knew, that "I love you" was the fire to your woods

As I died there, in a battle that I had nothing to do in,because it was you !

Author's Note

It is not that good. But I felt like writing, honest opinions please .
Have a nice day everyone. Love you all :)

Reviews

[ANTO]

My opinion is this is a couple who have a hard time communicating there needs to each other but they belong together - many relationships are like this - "cant llive with them/cant live without them" kind of thing and it all comes from the same pool of passion. We expect others who profess to know us well to be able to read our minds at times and when they can't (obviously the cant) we wonder if we are suited to be together at all and suddenly ; the planets arent aligned any more - everything we 'knew' is cast asunder and we are in a dizzying spin - flailing out at all around us and the closest (emotionally speaking) gets the whole lot.

This is a killer line of poetry - (or any writing)
"But when you uttered your spell even devils stepped away" - the imagery is stunning here.

Well done Suhad. ;)

[MsJewel]

I can feel the emotion in your words, so for me, this is a great poem.
"stars were falling for you that night" - such a beautiful line that strikes a gorgeous image.
great writing my friend.

:) Julie

[Leslie Philibert]

Like this. You might have meant peeking in L2, but I think peaking is just right. Fire in your woods is a great line too, and I find loads of excellent phrases here...this is a very good poem

[~]

A new type of writing from you. I like the narrative style, it gives direction to your main ideas you are trying to share.

[R Smith]

IT IS THAT GOOD Suhad, I love the way you start every line and finish every word, its amazing :)

[Saddam]

Stars were falling all for you that night, you were magnificent
But when you uttered your spell even devils stepped away
And I was the only one in that battle, against who ? You ?.

Actually I feel its both side of emotions. Well, it is a nice one and the image is also well chosen. Great job friend.

[wordman]

a sad emotional write,but a dam good one

[armin]

The first half of the poem is written with great emotions .
Every star was peaking, expecting a hug or a stolen kiss,
I loved that phrase.
Overall it was a good piece, really a heart breaking write Suhad.

armin. ...

[Mila]

Very sad piece here, really toys at the heartstrings. Well done!

[Einstein Noodle]

its a very sad mix ... the night we say goodbye .. i like your use of stars peaking .. as at their zenith .. my mind thought peeking at first glance ;)
E.