Living Death

You told me you loved me, then why did you go ?

Tired of being alone with no ears and no sounds

Tired of looking around and finding nothing but silence.

 

As the ocean breaks while my soundless screams raise

Everything starts calling names, but none of the names are mine.

 

And when your name is uttered the graveyard screams 

The dead people cry and I, I sit there, alone and stunned.

 

I find no shoulder to weep on, and no one to speak to 

As the words start to be expelled to the walls ,i cry.

Every breath says I'm very weak, but I'm not

Listen to my words and then you can judge.

 

I've lost my best friend in an accident of trust

She made me a liar when I wasn’t one, and she doubted that.

 

She stood against me with everyone there

When God was the only side by me, I trusted him.

 

She believed all the lies when I was the one who says the truth

And now, she is missing me but I don’t have any proof.

 

I don’t want to go through that love that I lost 

because to me it’s not more than a walk by the sea.

 

But when you lose everyone, nothing you start to feel

Just each oxygen atom hitting your bare soul.

 

And as time will pass and I'm alone, I will stay

Not sorry for what I've done, because I know I lost nothing ,just a day.

 

(As life betrays us, we start to be feeling less, and love nothing just ourselves, we are not selfish in this case, but we are people who once believed in life and they realized that we are just human, who are living death)

Author's Note

I hope you like it :)
Just a stage of life........

Reviews

[Angad Waraich]

Beautiful imagery.
But truly a hard phase in ones life.
Its a nice read .
Well done.

Thank you for sharing.
-Angad

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

Dark yet depression, but this what really happens during our lives. I really like the imagery in this one.

[Baby Ricochet]

A heartbreaking tragedy from a wounded soul. Good work

[Tai Ryens]

Poignant piece that ends with your speaker's realization that everything that's been lost has been just that, lost. No use crying over spilled milk, as the saying goes. Well done.

[Leslie Philibert]

I have read a lot of your work, and like it a lot, but I find it sad that your themes are mostly sad too. You are young, you have talent, and a bad experience should not define you so much.I bet you can write about a lot of subjects, it might help you too !

[Que]

Very nice poem :)
There's just an error of distraction though: on verse 8 there is a space before the comma and the 'I' should be capitalized. Nothing big, of course!

Also, this is a suggestion that someone once gave to me, which I found very interesting: you could try using as little punctuation as possible. Because this is poetry, it isn't strictly necessary because there are natural pauses. Also, if there is hardly any punctuation, when you add for example a period, then it has a much stronger effect. I found this really useful for when I want to portray a dramatic tone, for example.

Keep writing :)

ps. I like the Sherlock image, by the way!

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Deep feelings well expressed. I loved this poem.

[Einstein Noodle]

such pain in your expression .. just brutal .. :(
E.

[wordman]

you painted a vivid picture here and very wise