Thank You For The Dance

My poem :

 

Like that night when the moon took the hand of a star.

 Making it move from its place to another sky.

Where he held it so gently and with a shinning smile

He pulled her closely, sweetly and smoothly to his side

 

The music played and she started to smile

Her black dress was engaging the darkness of the night.
 And his beautiful smile was giving her a slight light ,

They danced until it was so dark and its midnight.

 

He made her happy when he is a cousin and a close friend to her

But someone that really wants her to be happy in life.

 He is a very beautiful part of her life, and made her last days

 He is a family that everyone wants to have.

 

Let me tell you how you make me smile like i never did

. And make me thrilled and dance like a little kid

. Let the memory of the dance remian forever

, In the hearts and in the beautiful life cover.

 

His poem :

 

come to you and saw your face,

I think i must go with her to a special place,

The day’s night coming every time near,

I hope that the night will be a night clear...

 

Im dancing with you in the moonshine,

I write it only for you: line for line...

Its midnight and the stars are shining

And i will write your name with a silver lining

 

We are dancing and we are happy

You look is so pretty

I will feel in my knees

And in this moment i will freeze.

 

Thats my poem for you

 

Author's Note

That poem is written for me cousin who gave me the best dance 3 days ago, on Tuesday 12-8-2014.. I say thank you so much for the dance , and for the beautiful poem that i truley loved .
And for the reviewrs please note that English is his 3rd language, and he is self learning it, thats the reason for his mistakes, but i thank him truely for the sweetness he put and the rhyme he tried to put together just for me .

And thanks for your reviews

Reviews

[Norman T]

The message is clear and can rise above any mistakes in the odd word. You both loved the dance , he obviously loved your company, you loved the poem. What more do you need?.
I enjoyed the happiness of the poem, what more do I need to say?

....Norman.

[stars are far]

Thats very true..thank u sir

[RAOrourke]

"He made her happy when he is a cousin and a close friend to her" " come to you and saw your face,"...check the tense here.
I will feel in my knees...I will feel it in my knees.

Just a few little issues with tense, otherwise, well done! I liked the two sides to the poem!

[stars are far]

i really thank you for your comment and yes i realized the mistakes, but i tended to keep them they way they are because that is the way i sent it to him and he sent to me, and the original holds something of a try and true feelings that are away from the boundries of tenses ,,
and i really thank you

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Loves first sight can create a lasting image.
I really liked this two way poem.

This was magical my friend, I felt the love, and the bond you share... both of you well done.

- Elisa

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

This is beautiful! I love how you and him romanticize the night (aka natural beauty).

[khalid]

sweet innocent collabs.... i really liked it..

[Aehr]

I think its very sweet of him to put together a poem for you, and that it has really come from his heart. My favourite lines from your poem are:

Like that night when the moon took the hand of a star.
Making it move from its place to another sky.

Oh such lovely string of words! Very well written. Also, I like the picture you chose for this one. Keep writing. Xx.

[Baby Ricochet]

Lovely and romantic. I enjoyed this one very much

[Tai Ryens]

Such a lovely tribute and his English is stellar, especially with it being the 3rd language. It's very good. The dance idea incorporated across the two poems was quite a clever idea as well, and it was only improved upon with both of your unique styles. A great tribute, well done.

[stars are far]

The dance got it.. hehe after we danced in a wedding together.. thank u

[Lydia Shutter]

What a sweet write this is. There are some grammatical and spelling errors in both your part and your cousins, but the sentiment comes through and it is lovely. Lydi**