Look At Her

not my best

Why don’t you look to your right in order to see her?

When you were looking at her, when you were mine.

Why do you still turn your face to see my smile

When I don’t smile for your eyes anymore..

 

Let’s make it deal now ,and listen well dear

I’d love to see you in front of me but look at her.

I want to see you faithful for one time with no fear

Do even think about touching me, And I know you don’t dare..

 

Here you are tearing to take a glance … should I laugh ?

You turned your face away from me and moved ,yeah !

But now ,you put yourself in the street of no return..

Even if I praise you for million year.. you are no more mine.

 

Oh..no.. I will never be yours..

 

Author's Note

Just a scratch.. i dont even think it is good....

Reviews

[cycy]

the message says a lot indeed and I know only too well what you mean, spoken from the heart.

[Tai Ryens]

Marvelous, I must say, the concept you present is a rather frustrating one.

[MsJewel]

There are so many wonderful lines in this poem. It does need a few words tweaked here and there, but it is a great poem and the idea behind it is wonderful. Great picture to compliment your words as well!

:) Julie

[Stefanie Holmes]

Yes, this piece can use some touches to make it more polished. There were a few areas where you were missing a word or it was worded incorrectly. You have the base for a good piece though, so don't give up working on it!

~Stefanie

[Sami Khalil]

"you put yourself in the street of no return..

Even if I praise you for million year.. you are no more mine.





Oh..no.. I will never be yours.."

Those lines grabbed my attention. This poem with little tweaking has a song quality to it. The idea is wonderful...:).....

[stars are far]

Thank you very much :) I appreciate your comment :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...................