but only sometimes

punching walls,
broken knuckles,
you became my skin,
singing you to sleep,
staying up,  forever awake
and keeping you warm,
wishes to which I'd listen
denying myself, three years,
words that don't matter,
said in singsong voices,
we've kept in touch,
my soundtracks to you,
and I'm in mourning,
my manifesto you've read it,
in unlisted numbers,
what difference does it make,
I'm not the same.