Dear Christopher

I watch you, come along,
walk along
to sully these hands of mine
My dear, I must make you aware,
I have persevered into numbness
so that I feel none of your dirt
I present to you-
the disappointment that was once mine
and permit you to ask forgiveness
time after time
Once I would have given you
the marrow of my bones
now, I hope you cherish the words
that have to be coaxed out of my throat.
You act out of your own hand,
dear Christopher, do not expect me
to show what I don't feel.
You're just a part of the scenery
anymore I don't give a damn
which lines you hover between
as it is, you know not your place
for you feel free to judge
what's mine is my own.
As it is, you make yourself my
keeper
but it's your blue eyes
I no longer seek in the
midst of my own