Unlucky for Some

I wrote this as a slightly tongue in the cheek tribute to the Mike Hammer mysteries and Forties Noir Films.... Edited version - now in first person as suggested by a review.

My name is Jack Mahoney, and I'm  a detective from the down town precinct.  It was my turn to stake out the bad guy so there I was, sat in my car.    I rolled another cigarette and lit it, blowing out the smoke and watching it rise to join the thick smog that hung over the city.  It was 2.30 am and my back was stiff from sitting so long in the cold, or was it the tension that filled the air with anticipation; I waited, always watching…

The light across the street flickered tantalisingly close but too far away to distinguish what was going on, save the shadowy forms jerking in the midst of it.

Suddenly it snapped off.  Stubbing out the half-smoked butt, I went into action. Sure enough two figures appeared in the doorway; a man about six foot three and a girl wrapped around him. That told me all I needed to know. So this was Topoloski, my ‘tail.’

Topolski oozed into a black Daimler, a fat Havana cigar billowing from his mouth.  The girl stood, her head cocked seductively to one side.  The street lamp caught her face. A good looking broad, she wore the fake furs draped around her like a second skin.

“Ciao baby, I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t be too long darling”

The broad purred as she swept back into the house.

I slunk around the corner and started up the old crate.  It had been a long night, but worth the wait. I had no time to lose. Topolski pulled away.  I followed behind at a discreet distance.  Soon they were down town. The stench hit me. Moisture dripped from the crumbling edifices, their concrete fingers scratching the dark, looming sky above them. Rats rummaged for their nightly feast. Suddenly, a black cat stole across in front of me, its green eyes ablaze in the beam of my headlights. I swerved, missing it by inches, just in time to see Topolski turn a corner, out of sight.

“Damn, blast that cat!”

I rubbed my eyes.  My reactions must be getting slow, but then sleep had eluded me these past two days.  My mind crowded with its events:

“I want Topoloski and I want him now! I don’t care how you do it, just do it!”

My chief yelled at me, throwing the paperwork on the desk and sending my half-drunk coffee cup cascading across the room.

“Stay cool, Sir; leave it to me, I’ll chill him out.”

“You do that, now get out there and find him!”

“Yes Sir.”

When Joe Harper told you to get going he meant it

I winked at Cassie, my chief’s assistant.

“The Chief’s his usual friendly self, huh Cass?”

“You bet, like a bear with a sore head! I’m a nervous wreck!”

She tried, unsuccessfully, to pour herself another coffee.

“Any good with coffee machines, Jack? This one’s got me beat; or maybe it’s the fact my nerves are shot!”

“Sure Sugar, there you go.”

She took a long draught.

“That’s better.  Have you got to split?”

Cassie looked from under her eyelashes coyly.

“Fraid so; you be a good girl now.”

I tickled her chin. Cassie narrowed her eyes.

“Get out of here!”

“I’m gone!”

I laughed, a little nervously.  Cass was a sassy lady, well able to look after herself; wouldn’t do to get into her bad books.  Still I liked her gutsy approach; she needed it with Harper.

I glanced through the photos: scar on the right cheek, otherwise the smug face of a charmer who’d pull any unsuspecting chick.  Little wonder he was so good at his job, conning rich dames out of their dough. This would be easy. No time to go back to the apartment. I checked the address and let out a low whistle. 555, the Boulevard. No kidding, this guy really knew how to live it up. The Boulevard was on the smart side of town, full of dames with poodles and guys with megabucks and houses with tennis courts and swimming pools.  It was a tough job but someone had to do it. Except it wasn’t me the Chief sent up town. Instead I found myself cold and cramped, cursing my love of animals.

“So much for easy street,” I muttered to no one in particular.

I kicked the steaming wreck into life and sped off down the street.  I followed my nose.  The air was thick with the smell of stale tobacco smoke, which led me finally to a concealed entrance just off the beaten track. Sure enough the Daimler was parked to one side of a beaten up old shack. If my hunch proved correct, this was the home of Lisa Bordeaux, one of Topoloski’s main squeezes.  The crew had been staking her out all week.  I  felt my earpiece. Yep,I could hear every word.  The boys had done a perfect job on the joint.  I waited.   A heated argument seemed to be going on.  Lisa was the first to speak, in her high pitched Brooklyn accent, and boy was she spitting fire:

“You dirty double-crosser!  You promised me you wouldn’t see her again! I ought to get the cops out on you!”

“Don’t threaten me you ungrateful b***h, after all I’ve done for you.  I’m not taking any of this crap!”

At this moment my foot chose to buckle under me, hitting the gravel noisily.  I darted into the bushes and crouched down.

“What was that?”

“Huh? You trying to stall me honey?”

“That noise I thought I heard something outside; I’m gonna check, you stay here!”

Topoloski strode out. He took his gun and pointed it menacingly at the night time air. Suddenly a ball of fur hurled itself out of the darkness. Topolski turned sharply.

“What’s that? A cat! Darn fool thing, you nearly went to kitty heaven!"

Muttering threats under his breath, Topolski went back inside, leaving the patio door slightly ajar to let in some air.

“I was never so happy to see you buddy,” I whispered as the cat padded noiselessly into the shack after Topolski.

The argument seemed to heat up again.

“I’m not fooled any more by your lies, Topolski, I’ve heard it all before.  I’ve had it and I want out!”

“Forget it Sugar, you’re in deep up to your pretty neck!”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“You should be darling, because with one flick of my wrist, I could blow you to paradise.”

“Don’t be stupid, you wouldn’t dare!”

There was no mistaking the fear in her voice now. Topolski laughed hollowly.

“Wanna bet?”

I tensed.  This was getting iffy; time to call in reinforcements. I reached cautiously for my radio, pulling it close to my mouth so I wouldn’t be heard.

“Yo, Birdie, this is Stool Pigeon. Better get off your asses and get down her fast or we might have a murder rap on our hands!”

The voices rose again.

“Put that thing away!”

“No can do, you’d better start showing some respect honey or you’re history.”

“Get out Toploski.”

“Say what?”

“Get out or else.”

“Or else what?”

The tone was mocking.

“I’ll pick up the phone and call the cops!”

“Go ahead, you’ll be dead before you pick up the receiver.”

“Don’t make me do it.”

“I’m warning you, I’ll use this.”

“I’m gonna do it now!”

“Oh no you aint!”

“No, Sam, no!”

A shot rang out.  There was a scream, a scuffle, and another shot.  Someone or something hit the floor with a thud.  It was time to move in.  I threw back the door.

“Police, freeze!”

The girl stood, motionless, her torn white dress splattered with red. Topolski lay at her feet in a pool of his own blood, a paper knife in his stomach, and the gun, still smoking in his right hand.

“I had to do it, he threatened me!”

“Shut up, you’re under arrest, sister!”

“You aint got nothing on me!”

“Got everything recorded here on my little black box, sweetheart, enough to put you away for a long stretch…”

Cursing, Lisa made a run for it, but I was too quick for her.  My jump sent her sprawling to the floor.  Pulling her hands behind her back and cuffing them, I dragged her to her feet.

“Come on honey, have we got a reception committee waiting to meet you outside.”

I led her out, to the blaring sirens.

“Book her!”

Turning to one of the other officers, I noted:

“You know it’s funny; I could have sworn I saw something black running out just then.  It’s not there now.  Maybe it was my imagination…”

I threw the report on his boss’ desk.

“Guess that just about wraps it up, Sir.”

“Huh, if you say so Mahoney; what’s the matter you got no work to do?”

“Plenty; well I can’t stand around all day gassing; better get going.”

“Out!”

“You’re welcome, Sir.”

I grinned.  I might have known I’d get no medals.  Cassie looked up from painting her nails.

“One of these days he’s gonna flay you alive, Mahoney!”

“Yeah, I guess so, but it was worth it to see the look on his face!”

I blew her a kiss.  She caught it and made a big play of putting it to her scarlet lips.  I laughed.

“Sweet dreams, Honey, I’m out of here!”

Cassie sighed.

“Who’d be a cop, not me!”

She said to no one in particular.

Cassie went back to her beauty treatment, as one more crime-filled day was setting with the sun; and somewhere, down an alleyway, a black cat washed itself and purred contentedly.

 

THE END.

Reviews

[Will Neill]

Sue I always enjoyed reading Mike Hammer books,it can be difficult to try and write in anothers style but I think you have done a fine job here. It may have been better wrote in the first person-but that's just my humble opinion.-I am looking forward to reading more of your work.
Will

[Sue]

Thanks for the review, Will, that might work....

[Sue]

Yep I think I prefer it in the first person....

[Will Neill]

Sue, Its much better-sometimes it works in the third but this works.
Will

[Sue]

Thanks for the crit - much appreciated!