Dock

this was an assigmnment for class. 55 words or less. i think mine is 54. -enjoy-

 

They lay panting naked on the dock. It was pitch black and the bullfrogs were chirping. A cool breeze blew which made her shiver. He wrapped his arms tighter around her small body. She could get lost in his arms, which is exactly what she wanted. “I love you,” he whispered. She remained silent.

Reviews

[Aloysius Cotterman]

I remember this one. I read the one I did. You read yours. I got quiet because, it was, and still is, a gorgeous piece of writing.

[Teressa Heafner]

You did an awesome job on the detail. I liked how you managed to have an entire story with just a few lines. It leaves so much room for interpertation and leaves the reader guessing. Excellent job!

[Dan Bradley]

54 words. not one wasted. ::success!!:: d.

[Kari [io]]

this was a beautiful half glmpse of a scene. i agree with christopher, there is so much left to be filled in, and it still seems complete to me.

[Christopher Tait]

I actually like this very much. Without going into heavy detail, you tell a wide story that the reader has to fill in for him/herself. I know sometimes people use those "55 words or less" things to essentially tells punchlines to jokes, but I like how you used the format.