Liquor is Quicker

i've been drinking. -enjoy-

 

“Allow me to paint you a picture,” Tom slurred, setting down his drink. He is sitting in this same bar for the seventh night in a row. Finally, the bartender asks him what’s wrong.

            “There is this woman. A great woman, really. She’s smart and funny and interesting and laid back and down to earth. I mean, she really understands people, like us, men. She’s just amazing.” Sip. “But she was damaged goods. Emotional stuff. Depression, you know. For years. Then she meets this guy. Good guy. Not the most popular, but a pretty damn good man either way. And they start going out.” Sip. “So, everything is going pretty good for the pair. A couple of bumps. But all and all everyone is happy. Well, except her brother, but that’s another story.” Sip. “Yeah, a whole other story.” Sip.

“Anyway, some s**t happens. Nights out. Different men. Booze. Yeah, booze.” Sip. “And she starts doubting stuff. Here’s this confident, amazing woman doubting whether or not things are going to be ok. And she was just starting to open up and connect with this guy. You know, emotional problems. Depression. For years, like I said. So, she’s doubting everything. And then this other guy comes along.” Sip.

“He’s an ok guy. Tells her she’s cute and funny. Which are two things she loves to hear, by the way. Says he’s interested. That he’s dumping his girlfriend the next day, and could he get her phone number?” Sip. “She’s already doubting everything in her relationship, so this s**t don’t help any. She starts talking to the guy and things are going ok. She tries to break up with her boyfriend, but just ends up telling him she cheated on him. Because she just doesn’t have to guts to do it, you know?” Sip.

 “This new guy is really laying it on thick and she’s just lapping it up, you know. Though, not completely whole-heartedly. Like I said, she’s not stupid. Finally, she realizes this isn’t the guy for her.” Sip. “So, she tries to make everything ok with her kinda sorta half-way every-other Tuesday boyfriend. And she actually means it, too.” Sip. “Realized she took him for granted and s**t. And it seems to be working. He’s thinking. She’s optimistic. Her as-close-to-perfect-as-she’s-going-to-get life seems like its going to be back on track.” Sip. “But then he calls and says he wants to break up. Says it’s because he’s leaving soon and this would be easier. But she knows. She knows it’s because of the cheating and doubts. So, she’s crying. Saying how she should have learned her lesson about cheating after last time.” Sip. “Last time she got beat up a bunch for it. But that’s another another story. Anyway, she cries a little. Calls the new guy and tells him there’s nothing between them. Then she starts thinking.” Sip

“A little while later, there she is. She’s wearing a long white t-shirt, some gold strappy high-heels, underwear, and nothing else. Sitting in front of her TV with one leg on either side of the entertainment center. With a drink in front of her. Looking at her legs and thinking about how much she fucked up, how much this would sting in the morning, and how great alcohol was.” Sip.

“Like what the hell? This is a confident, independent, great as f**k woman. And she’s sitting there drinking to get over a break up. When I asked her why she was doing that when she should be out being strong and s**t, you know what she said? She’s like ‘I’m human. I get to be weak. And alcohol just makes everything feel better.’ So, I immediately went out and drank a scotch.” Sip. “And have been ever since.”

“Wow, man. That’s a cool story. So, you’re not here because you have a problem and are trying to drown your sorrows in liquor?” the bartender asked with a look of surprise.

“Hell, yes I’m trying to ‘drown my sorrows in liquor’,” Tom shot back. “I was the f*****g new guy, you d****e.” Then, he drained his glass and stumbled out.