Time

Sometimes I don’t see you moving

You’re as big as the universe

But there is never enough of you to go around.

Do you have any family?

Are you watching me?

You move so smoothly

No space between

to mark the differentiation

in your journey as you constantly travel

into my eyeballs

and through my brain,

I am a ping pong ball

travelling in your ocean

It all looks the same

With each second,

Only to know by how far away I am

From the places I’ve been

the common denominators,

they will always be there

until I stop floating.

sinking into places unseen.

Do I get to keep the time that was given to me?

If not then what is your motive?

Reviews

[Aethereal]

I enjoyed how you personified time as an ocean. We perceive time that we're conscious of, but we're not simultaneously conscious of all the time that we exist in. We float above this temporal ocean one wave at a time, one moment at a time. There may be shortcuts such as the speed of light, or wormholes that take us to other points in time. Perhaps death is a time machine since it enables our perception to jump over eons of time to other nesting grounds of incarnation. You must be from a mathematical background in that you used the term “common denominator”. We have no idea about all the places that we have been in time, or will be in time because of our limited retention of memory. It would take an infinite memory to enclose an infinity of past times experienced, an “infinite enclosure”.

[James Walpole]

Woww really like your explanation of the text thanks, i am not from a mathematical background but i do find common denominators useful in lots of things in life and find them valuable in finding out what is fundamental to something, thanks for the review :)

[Aethereal]

You're welcome! There are threads of commonality winding through the fabric of diversity, those harmonious common denominators of unity.

[DaughterNature]

I like the imagery here, especially the ping-pong ball. However, my biggest complaint for this piece is the over-use of the verb "to be" (is, are, was, were, am, etc). Remember that when you're writing poetry, every word counts, so try to avoid the weak verb "to be" if a stronger verb will fit.

[Faceless Poet]

Time sliced a piece of my Lime
inclined to dine, just me being kind

the ocean waves goodbye to yesterday
nothing remains the same and so I lay
to be free from the motive I didn’t see

now I don’t care, as long as I’m free
from the chains who prisons me
and so I go ride the tide
to welcome the bright side of life…

- faceless being