Goodbye Shadow

Battle with depression, addiction, eating disorder and low self esteem

The sky is grey just like me,
and here again I’ve always been.
I long to live and to be free,
but in the end, my sin will win.

All I ever wanted is to never feel this haunted, but my past won’t let me go.
So here I am again, not talking to a friend
but writing down these words in hopes that it won’t hurt.

Sometimes I just can’t breathe,
my thoughts are choking me.
I finally catch my breath,
Though sometimes I wish death.

How pleasant that would be,
to sleep through it all
no one to see me fall.
None the less I wake again,
An empty shadow in my skin.

White pills to help me smile,
but they always take a while.
So many different bottles with directions I must follow, don’t choke on them just swallow. You’re done now, til tomorrow.

Awake in bed at night, I think about my life.
Will I always be this girl?
Feeling worthless to this world?
Or one day will this end?
Where I will start to mend?

Broken I’ll be no more,
though there many scars I bore.
He loves me as I am,
my lifelong one true friend.

Though time to time we’ll struggle,
our bond might solve the puzzle.
At peace then I can rest,
Our future will be the test.