Bird

Actually... this is what I would call a prayer. It is for my nephew, Ian. Who is changing for the better, as you read. Enjoy!

The boy is moving, slowly moving,
beneath the brush, down by the dirt.
His knees are skinned, his voice is sweet,
His ears are open and alert.

He cups his hands in the springbox,
Giant pine, mirrored sky.
The ancient Owl invisible,
Captured in blue eyes.

He knows the song of the meadowlark,
He listens, waits, and then;
he casts an eerie sound,
It glides slowly, on the wind.

A smiling chipmunk rides in his pocket.
Along with some pebbles and dirt.
Elusive motion among afternoon shadows.
His name is Ian, but I call him Bird.

Author's Note

This is a work of fiction. It is however, built out of clear memory.
I don't think I could produce a piece like this just coz.... the words fell out of my anguish concerning my nephew, and I believe that gives it Power.
What do you think?

Reviews

[Crowley]

It gives it all the power in the world my friend. Can't tell you how much I enjoyed this, it hits upon the difficulty of being a boy and trying to find that tightrope path through all the strangleholds on your identity. Fathers who care or who don't, mothers with their favorites, friends who prey because they have an inch more leadership ability and throw everyone to the wolves for their own enjoyment. This was really good...you should do some artwork and frame this poem with it, it carries weight.

[SyberRose]

I also have a nephew Ian and he also has his problems...and pray he will see the light,
Nicely done Tony... I enjoyed your beautiful words...My daughter-in-law is from Mexico too...SyberRose

[Carolann Dowsett]

This is lovely, I hope he makes it.

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

It's brilliant Tony - the last line being the foundation.


Vincent

[An owl on the moon]

You create a world here... invite us in... let us see Bird coming alive to all around him... Musically awakening and playful in purpose. So well done!

[Raef C. Boylan]

I really liked this; you made it personal whilst also keeping it distanced enough for everyone to relate to. It's an interesting glimpse at innocence...or maybe at the opposite, based on your notes and description, but childhood and nature and stuff...we can all dig that. Sorry this isn't much of a review.

[Cherrie Palmer]

this was a wonderful read, a snapshot in time makes for the best fiction. I could see the boy foraging a crossed his path. I hope more people find this charming poem.

[Linear]

It's a strange and awesome thing, when we put our pen to paper then allow our heart to take over what takes shape, seems to be not of our own thoughts, it's called inspiration i guess. good work with Bird

[Onatah]

So playful and jumpy. I love it.

[Tate Morgan]

I loved it I especially like this part
He knows the song of the meadowlark,
He listens, waits, and then;
he casts an eerie sound,
It glides slowly, on the wind.
Why? Because the rhyme flows off the tongue like water .I love rhymes that are effortless to read.Of course you wrote this in my favorite way of ABCB
I like this better because with ABAB you have to make sense and rhyme of far too many words and the complication is multiplied many times over