Next 6 Exits

...I just remembered this....

Beer rushed over my hand and onto the floorboard when I pulled the tab.
I held it away from the seat and used my right hand to guide the dilapidated chevy 4x4 down the rutted road. I looked across the field to the back of the old crossroad store, which was what Garth was so interested in.
Just pull in the drive in back he said, it's right along side the gas tank, there.
I see it I said, looking for something to wipe the sticky off of the wheel.
Alongside the rickety old structure holding aloft an agricultural sized gas barrel, was a sign.  A great big son of a b***h, too. Four pieces of plywood framed together, with nice metal corners and stuff.
You dumb a*s, I said, It's a good one all right, but how the hell we gonna git it outa here?
We got two bikes and our gear in there, remember?
Noooooo...! He says, we can just slide it between em' and rope it around the back, and ...like that..
I wouldn't have done it had it been any sign, but this one, it was a keeper. A few minutes later I was popping another top and herding the ol' chev towards the highway. G was in back, holding the load down, seeming as how his idea wasn't worth a s**t. The sun was going down and I wanted to avoid the County Sheriff cruiser who might be headed home on this very road. I punched the pedal and that 454 was burning fuel. Garth was a tough b*****d, I'll give him that. The speedometer was hovering around 75, and he was sitting on the headache rack, holding onto that plywood for dear life. It was dead dark when we rolled into the yard and we took the little road, so as not to drive by the house.
The lights were all on.... Damn, Is that chicken I smell? asked Garth. I ignored him and parked behind the barn.
Thanks to cordless drills and them long black screws we had the sign up in a few minutes. Then we unloaded the bikes and oiled the chains, before washing them with brooms and lots of soap. Your truck can look like crap, but your flying machine, it must be Sano. We finished the half rack as we meticulously maintained the Motocrossers, and Jeb The Wonder Dog slept, his leg kicking as he chased cows, even in his dreams.
Mom left two plates out on top of the stove and we shamelessly devoured two or three chickens and trim. I belched and threw Garth the keys, find your own way home a*****e.
In the morning I woke early as usual, and was finishing a paint job on the old Farmall when Grandad came out. It took him a few minutes, but when he seen the sign, he really seen it, for it was Gigantic. I'll never forget the look on his face.
BEER ICE GROCERIES, in letter 2 feet high. His eyes snapped open....
What the...?! he started, looking at me. I stood my ground and grinned.
'Where'n the hell did you get this, and why is it stuck on my barn?' he barely whispered, moving toward me menacingly.
'We stole it', I replied, retreating.
Then he stopped, looked up at the sign again, then back to me,.....
'Is that the one from down at ol' haggerdorns?' The look on my face gave him his answer.
True to his nature, which he gave me, he then started laughing. And that sign made him laugh for a week afterward.
'Hell, you can read it from the highway!' he said one day when he drove up.
He was particular about his parking spot too. That was where we put the "DOCTORS PARKING ONLY" sign.

Author's Note

Sign, Sign, everywhere a sign, fuckin up the scenery, wasting my time....

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

Another good one, Tony. You'd be a perfect writer for "Easy Rider" magazine. (which I used to read all the time)

[Crowley]

This rocked hard.....the descriptions and the little reality nuances make it real and vivid....it's what makes good stories great stories in my opinion. A lot of bang for the buck in this shorty, nice work.

[luciddreamer]

funny story...really enjoyed it

[Desert Dreamer]

Great story, reminds me of the book, The Monkeywrench Gang...I wish there were less signs in the world.