Other Peoples Tools

....do you still have my hammer?... The picture there is of a Thermonuclear Device. Ugly.

By chance I was at this lady's house one day. I didn't know her, she was a friend of the person I was with. She had a nice house, expansive with big windows. While waiting for my friend,I was wandering around this big room. It was a studio/library/office sort of an affair, very messy. On a large desk there was a bunch of papers and pens, a stapler, several books and an old cup of coffee. Now, I don't know if this gal was a scientist, mathematician, or a horse trader, but I could tell she knew a bunch. On a felt marker board that hung on the wall there was, in fact, a bunch of figures and numbers. Like an alien language they proclaimed knowledge I could not comprehend. Big blue numbers and symbols leading to a fact, I suppose. On the desk lay a slide rule, next to a cell phone.

You gotta be shitting me, I thought.

I wondered if all those books really had the keys to the symbols and numbers. Couldn't prove it by me, but wow!, sure as hell looked impressive. I looked at the board a little closer. Nope, nothing. No Comprende. I laughed then, thinking how unsurprised I would be if it all turned out to be so much mack mack milly mack. One thing was for sure that day. I would never have the time or the interest to comprehend the higher math..

I did take something with me that day, an idea. And I have put it to practice a few times over the years. One afternoon, a long time ago, I was sitting at a kitchen table, watching a kid play with a compass. He made circles of varying sizes and colors. Later, I put a pencil in the thing and made a circle on a sheet of construction paper.  Then I retraced 75% of the circle, and left the sw quadrant open. I made a straight line with a ruler through the center, with little arrows on the end. Over the next hour or so I doodled carefully on the sheet, putting little numbers and symbols here and there. I am not an artist by any means, but it turned out to look pretty cool. By that I mean, authentic.

Looks are decieving. It was complete nonsense, of course. But I liked the way it looked and hung it on the fridge with a magnet. A red B, and a yellow S, for 'bullshit'. I noticed people would look at it, but only about 1 in 10 commented on or questioned it's significance. I left it there for a long time.

I told a girl once that it was a problem 'we' were working on, physics is what I called it.

Oh! How interesting!

No, I'm kidding, It's just a bunch of numbers and symbols actually, I was just doodling one day....

So, you just drew all that because.....?

Literally, I drew all that  to see if it would pass for the real thing.

No,sir. That would be ridiculous.

I know, but you are still looking at it.

Hmmm....she repied losing interest in the art, and the artist.

Author's Note

I'm the weirdest person I know!

Reviews

[Radiohead]

I dated a someone once who placed a stack of books on the coffee table because I like to read. She admitted later that she did so just to impress me, turns out she never read a book in her life. Funny. Your story reminded me of that.

A good story, I enjoyed it.

[cartera]

You write well. There is hardly a spare word. you have a good style. I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff.
In general, yes, things are not what the look at first glance, and lots of folks probably did not want to display ignorance by asking what it was all about.

[Manyfacets]

You talkin to me? This reminds me of one of those old jokes usually used on a narcissist. Funny little tale, my morning smile for today. Thanks for posting. Okay 'I love it" Smiles M.