Don't

Read it.

 

Don’t touch me with sugary words,

I prefer the bitterness of blood.

It runs much purer than any wine

And gives me fresher life.

 

Don’t try to save me with friendship

Unless you want to be dragged down

In my wake, down we’ll tumble

Into the depths of madness, Hell, who knows?

 

Don’t think about me anymore,

Get used to it, I won’t remain.

You’ll have to forget me sometime

Because I’ll fade away with the winds.

 

Don’t tell me what you see in me,

Take another, deeper look my friend

And tell me, has your perspective changed?

Beside me ice is hot as lightning.

 

Don’t bother to get close to me,

Don’t bother to know who I am.

Don’t peer into my mangled soul.

Don’t you dare tell me I’m wrong.

 

Do any of these,

Can’t say I didn’t warn you.

When you play with my black fire,

You’ll become my sacrifice.

Reviews

[FoolsGold23]

"when you play with my black fire, you'll become my sacrifice"..... That line alone made me catch my breath! Man, I've nothing adequate to say for this one, but I'll try.
These piece is honestly brutal, and i can almost feel these words pushing be backwards, holding me at arm's length. A bitterness, sarcastic and yet, all around the edges of this block print, there is an aura that is saying. "Come closer, I'm in pain, don't judge me too early."
And it's that aura one must follow, instead of the commands of this bully-ish poem. I stay, I shall not be intimdated, and I dare this poem to make me do otherwise!! ;) Harsh and yet, splendid.~P

[deeps]

John, This is just awesome
I love the image I got.
Wonderful write here of letting steam go.

I read it, as you told me to in the description. I was confused and a bit upset until I saw that one of the comments was posted 10 months ago. So I know that this wasn't written recently.


My favorite stanza is the first one. I absolutely hate it when girls try to "sweet talk" their guys into doing something. That's what I got from it, anyway...

[Darmochwal]

I like the play on the word, and the phrase, hell, who knows? I just don't understand if you are hot or cold, ice is hot next to you, but then again you have black fire. maybe I don't know what black fire is, I guess maybe it's cold?

[He@ther!]

Wow!! I like it! VERY well communicated and the flow is perfect:) I love the tone, and I agree with what FoolsGold23 said, it sort of has a double message. Needless to say, awesome job:)

-Heather

[Larissa G.]

I thought this entire poem was perfect together.
I'm sure if I took the time I could find something to correct; but I don't want to. I like the style, the tone, the word choice, the fact that I could feel every emotion here in your words.
Well done indeed.

[Bubo]

Very dark foreboding piece my friend!
You sound hurt, angry bitter, much emotion in this piece, and I wonder who the sacrifice really is.

[Tomás Ó C..]

OK, OK OK!!!! Brilliant use of language here in this, really enjoyed it.

[SamBug]

This is...sad quite frankly. I liked it...it was talented...but it made me sad for sure.

[allwrite]

What a powerful piece. I agree with Leah - if someone pissed you off to get this, then let me know what pisses you off.

Don't bother to get close to me,
Don't bother to know who I am.
Don't peer into my mangled soul.
Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong.

This screams to me. Frequently I feel my soul so mangled that no one should attempt to see me. Regardless, however, there are those that do.