Blood of Nature

Inspired by the accompanying picture.

Blood of nature
Drawn by industry
A massacre
Of beautiful earth.
Trees uprooted,
Stripped and replanted,
Along roadsides
With deadly doses
Of electric power
Hanging limp
As the decaying corpse.

We demand progress,
But how far can we go?
How long until
The blood red sun
Glowers over
The mangled corpse
Of our emotionless
Industrialized world?

Author's Note

Photo copyright of PoeticPrincess44 http://www.myspace.com/angeloftheheavens

Reviews

[Staci Brown]

great questions you present, but i notice an "electric" guitar in your hand which i'm willing to bet is made of "wood" since it's not a steinberger... so... are you willing to put down that guitar and amp?

you've written a great poem tho... loved the imagery you used and the picture was a great choice, love that red!

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

[Laura Sparkle]

oh wow. the imagery, the vocabulary, the.... message! Well done Zonny you've outdone yourself!!!!

[ShAdOw]

wow this was awesome.

i so love this poem

[♥ Courtney &hear..]

I loved it baby!!!!
The picture you painted
was simply magnificent .

You are so wonderful

[Caitlin Nicole]

Wow! This is great! Perfect description of the "progress" that we've made on this once beautiful earth. Great write!

[Larissa G.]

My points for improvement:
"Of beautiful earth" - Use another word or two other than beautiful. Beautiful earth is a common idea. Find another image or idea to describe earth to give the poem some unique flare.

"We demand progress,
But how far can we go?" - It's a bit blunt. I would have liked it if instead you said there was even an end to the yellow brick road- something along those lines that gives us a clear idea of ending without SAYING ending.

The last stanza as a whole I would like to see as a statement rather than a question, to give the poem power.

But I have good news, too - I love this, because I believe in it strongly. I believe strongly in preservation as well as, in bitsy steps humans can handle, perseverance. Well done, lovely poem indeed - it could just use a few tweaks, like all poems in existence, to become even more powerful. Keep writing, as always, and I look forward to more. :)