Common Idiocy... It'll Get You Every Time.

What happened this morning.

             The nighttime desert air felt cool on my skin. The stars above sparkled like pieces of broken glass strewn whimsically across the heavens. Behind me lay more of the White Tank Mountains, with empty desert sprawling from them into the not-so-distant land of California. In front of me, luminous in the distance in all its glory, was Phoenix. I sighed happily. This here was one of those moments I long for so much, this solitary peace that allows my thoughts to run freely, without the boundaries of society. In the simplest term I can describe the moment with, it was living, really living.

            For hours I remained there, letting my surroundings purify me more thoroughly than any priestly baptism could ever do. The sky above Phoenix began to gradually lighten from midnight blue to grey, and the sparkling lights of the city winked out just as the silhouettes of the building started to show. The blending effect of this was stunning, I assure you. The city is shown to always be there, as invincible as its namesake. When the sun began to show, I decided to head back home so I could get ready to go with everyone to the court hearing.

            The twisting paths down the mountainside gave me ample time to stretch my limbs from the stiffness I had developed after hours I had spent sitting in thought. It was a short stretch, it turned out. As I rounded a corner of the path that led to a small pond, I heard a low growl. My heart jumped from the unexpected sound, and I stopped, eyes darting crazily, searching for the animal that was apparently there with me.

            In the shade of the mountainside, crouched by the edge of the pond, was a mountain lion. Her eyes shone gold in the light of the dawn, and the shadows danced across her tawny hide covering rippling, man-crushing muscles. As our eyes held each others, I felt it examining me. When her maw spread in a wide grin it was quite apparent what she had decided: I was breakfast. Mmm mmm! I love it when my meals deliver themselves!

            I booked it.

            Well, not right away of course. I had a moment for a strange, strangled sound to escape my throat. It was almost an eep, but with the qualities of a gurgle and a definite tone of “Oh s**t!” Then I was out of there!

            Or um, I thought I was. She leaped around me in seconds and was in my path before I could acknowledge her existence. We met in a breath-stealing impact, smacking into the rocks. I’m still not sure how I managed to get back to my feet, but I was standing… and apparently waiting for the mountain lion to have another go at me. I just couldn’t move, no matter how loud I screamed in my head, my muscles refused to take any kind of action. What saved me from the second attack was a simple lack of balance, sending me tumbling to my knees again. Who would have thought that clumsiness would save a goddamned life?

            I didn’t have time to get up this time, she was onto me so fast. I rolled away, and felt a burn across he back of my hand. Her claws had managed to graze me. She stopped moving, and was staring at me, making the oddest noise. I have never heard an animal start going thuckathucka thuckathucka. It reminded me sort of…

            Oh crap! I was pulled violently from the daydream. My hand was being smacked by the ceiling fan while I was reaching for a polo I had set out to wear for the hearing. After a moment it hit… My hand is in the fan! I yanked it out and stared at it as the pain started to intensify.

            “Holy s**t!” I stared at my hand, flexing it to see if anything was broken. Nothing but a large cut was there. “Holy f*****g…” I honestly didn’t know what to do. So, I laughed. What else does one do when an obvious moment of common idiocy strikes? Ah well. Hopefully I’ll get a cool scar!

Author's Note

No cougars were hurt in the making of this, erm... daydream that is an excuse for the cool scar I will (hopefully) develop from an idiotic moment. XD

Reviews

[Mysty Rayn]

You used such great description here. I really felt like I was there with you. Great write.

[Tai Chi Italy]

Oh thank god it was just a courgar!lol You had me worried with that other bloody poem John! naughty boy!!! worrying Tai like that! lol kiss it better for ya, that will teach me and you something!lol Grinning at you, Tai

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Um....erm....excuse me for a sec, I can barely type right now!!! ROFLMAO!!! Don't hate me. :P I needed this laugh, thanks for sharing. :D