Til Death Do Us Part

Collaboration between Celtic Cat and I, her in orange me in black

McSmooth. Hmph. More like McBastard.
One woman just wasn’t enough for you?
I would care more, had I not mastered
Ignoring all those little things you do

What is with that Celtic b***h?
It was just an online fling,
Despite the idea's attractive itch,
I never once thought of leaving.

I think he’ll enjoy his mashed potatoes
I twice-baked them with such care
Lots of garlic to hide the arsenic
Refuse my food? He wouldn’t dare!

I've long decided she's not worth
All my patience and money.
She is allergic to the spider's bite.
All I can say is sleep well honey!

Oh, look, here’s that picture of us
The one that caught the exact moment
That love first kindled with the lust
We spent the whole weekend in that tent!

Granted, our feelings once were great,
A love laced with passion of course.
But after a few night's in her bed,
I learned she was just a one-trick horse!

I guess we had some good times
Here and there between the bad
If only he wished to experiment
It could’ve been a better love life we had

We were in love, don't get me wrong,
A couple that was happy in every way
Until she tried to bring those handcuffs
To bed with us. One look and I said "No way!"

I don’t think he ever really trusted me
Wouldn’t once let me lead the way
I fear he thinks it’s unmanly
He lied when he said “to obey”

She never told me before matrimony
That she was such a feminist.
Up on top is the place of the man,
The woman is meant to submit.

Oh well, not too much time now
He should be home for dinner soon
I even baked him his birthday cake
To go with the pretty balloons

As I pull in the driveway
I smell my favorite dinner's scent.
She doesn't know it yet
But I'm getting my wish present!

Oh, here he comes, right on time
Let me get the candles lit
I’m wondering ‘bout this plan of mine
Hope it goes off without a hitch!

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

Police found the bodies

Of Mr. And Mrs. Marinside

Dead in their beds this morning.

Not sure if it's homicide or suicide.

 

A break-in is out of the question,

All locks were left firmly shut.

Must have been another solution

To the classical marriage-gone-to-smut.

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

hehe...well...at least we kept ONE marriage vow......UNTIL DEATH DO US PART!!! : ) Personally, I find it wickedly entertaining, but, well, that's just me. : )

hehe....is it wrong for me to rate this? ; ) Yeah, well, I'm all kinds of wrong!!! : )

Thanks so much for the idea and the honor of being asked to collaborate. Twas a pleasure indeed!!

[ShAdOw]

FRIGGING

AH-MAY-ZING!! OH MY GOD!!!!!

[LostCauze[:P]]

Very entertaining read, makes me want to do a collab one day. Its was awesome man, keep doing collabs they're really fun to read. Keep writing.

[♥ Courtney &hear..]

Wow, i loved it. I loved that it was a man and woman thinking as they both plotted eachothers demise.

BRILLIANT!

[L.G. Knight]

"ooooo ouch wow that was a low blow Ow!" my friend adam and i read it together and these were some of the things we said.... great WRITE!

~Frances~

[CarrieLynn {Chameleon A..]

You two do great work! Keep it up! :)

[allwrite]

Great work, both of you. I like this. Oh, the irony....AW

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Wow, this is an awesome piece. You two did a fantastic job!!!

Heather

[Brenda Sue]

A great collaboration. You two have done a wonderful job writing this. The story is great. Excellent write.

[Amor-de-angel]

Oh my......a deadly pair of collaborators thats for sure...
I like your take on the prompt. It worked out well. Well done.