I Miss You

I just randomly came up with this. Please tell me what you think.

You two used to be so happy together.
After so many years of waiting for her, she came to you.

I never saw you as joyful as when you were with her.
You loved her with all your heart,
and she seemed to have the same affections.

But then it came.

None of us knew why she did what she did
or you did what you did.

It went by in a blur.
One day, happiness.
The next, nothingness.

You'd think that she'd blame herself for it all.
But no.
She took you for granted,
and now look what happened.


There are memories of you everywhere.

Friends at school.
Old yearbook pictures.
An eerie depression that lingers in the air.
Waiting to be broken by your heart-wrenching smile,
which is no longer here.

Finally, your old and well-worn camouflage jacket,
hanging up in my closet.
The same jacket you gave to me one day
when I was cold and without a sweater.
I slept inside it every night since then.
You never asked for it back.
Now, it was too late.

Sure, everyone was sad at first. They got over it.
But not me.

I stayed up every night, leaning against my bedroom wall
and staring at your jacket
hanging up in my closet.
I remembered all the time we spent together
and my hidden feelings for you, deep down.

I never cried after the first couple days of this routine.
I had shed enough tears;
my body was drained.

I hardly ate.
Hardly drank.
Didn't pay much attention in school.

Instead, I thought of you
and all the ways you used to charm me.
The way she let you down,
and the way that you let everyone else down.

My friends began to worry about me.
They didn't get why I was so sad.
He was just a guy, wasn't he?

No. He wasn't.
Above all, she was the one who should know that.
But that was the thing.
She didn't.

My parents wanted to send me to a counselor.
I screamed at them and locked myself in my room.
For the first time in what seemed like ages,
I slid your jacket off the plastic hanger
and slipped it around me.
I breathed in your sweet scent,
and for the millionth time,
wished you were still here.

I hugged myself with your jacket,
pretending that I was holding you close.
As if you were within an arm's reach.

When reality hit me, I burst into tears
and slammed my fist against the wall.
I ended up in the ER
with a broken wrist
and an even more broken heart.

What have you done to me?
What have I done to myself?

With just the few words she said to you,
with just the swift motion of that knife,
my world had turned upside-down.

I reminded myself
that I could've saved you.
I should have told you
how I felt about you.
And possibly rescue you
from what you were going to do to yourself.
But that was the thing.
I didn't.

There were many times
when I thought about ending it all, too,
just like you did.
Would I leave someone behind?
No. Nobody cared about me anymore.
They had given up on me long ago.
So many phone calls and e-mails
unreturned.
What was the point?

But there was still something stopping me
from doing what you did.
From making your same mistake.
If it was even such a mistake at all.

After that one day,
I never laid a finger on your coat.
I wanted to keep it the way it was.
It was the last thing of you I had left.
Or so I thought.

Until I visited you
with a pot of fresh flowers and
a torn heart.
I pressed my face against the cold stone marble
where somewhere,
you were underneath.

I remember that day very clearly.
It was a chilly mid-October Sunday.
I didn't bring a jacket
or even dare think of putting yours on.

It turned out I didn't need anything.
Because, kneeling there beside you,
I felt an odd warmness surround me.
Your scent flooded my nostrils.
It was alarming and overwhelming.

I looked down at your name
so carefully carved into that smooth slab.
I traced it with my finger.

Then, with no warning or anything,
a drop fell onto the indent in Q.
I felt more stream down my face.
I didn't try to control them,
or make them stop.

For once, I let them flow.
And, in a way, it felt kind of nice.
Somehow.

Before I stood up to leave you
until next week,
I whispered my parting words
into the grave where you lay.

"I miss you."

Reviews

[Cristal Bridges]

Wow this is really sad! I think like everyone else this makes you look back on a moment of reflection to say the least. Such a sad but great poem!

[KaySea]

very nice work

[Courtney]

Like so many, I teared up after reading this!
BRAVO!
My favorite line was: One day, happiness.
The next, nothingness.

B-E-A-utiful!

[Bee]

Did this happen for real? If it did, I'm sorry. Very emotional piece here, and I could relate a bit because I just lost someone too. Crying definitely helps lessen the heaviness in one's heart... but the heaviness comes back again, right? It's okay to cry. Don't keep all emotions bottled up inside.
I could feel the torment of the main character in this poem. How she at some point, became bitter toward the guy who committed suicide but at the same time yearning for his presence again... very good writing. The ending, as a single line, was perfect. It added more emotion to the poem. Keep it up

[ForTheWorld]

yes! sara is right...this poem really made me cry and cry and cry...just can't stop...