Shadows

Shadow

 

As I sit in the still warm waters, while waiting for the anal pains of life to reside, this is where I patiently listen to the luminescent sound waves of all of my earthly desires.  I ask myself trivial questions such as “where on this earth do I belong?” “Is there a God in heaven?” “Is the life I’m living right or wrong?”  “Will I see them again?”  “Or once their life is gone then will they cease to exist anymore?”  The answers to these questions are so close, at the same time so far away. As if the answers were near me, then my physical being would push the prize away. So I will laugh while my physical conscience drifts into the shadows of the day, then I will shine the light of the living when the sun rest its soul for the day.

 

My God, My God why is heaven so far away? I am smiling while standing on the corners of Hell, as your light paves the way. This life is unnatural, to the sane, it is perfect for the sinner and it still seems to be missing the logical pieces needed for universal change. Although the priest, pastors, the righteous, and the holy disguise their sins with Gods name, they tell us peasants that with every step that we take that we shall be shamed. So, if only for a second shall my prayers for my sins be heard, be heard by the ones up in heaven that aspire to see that I make it in this lifetime and get the things that my heart deserves then just that modicum of success is worth the years my voice went unheard.

 

So today I take a look behind me to see if my inner me is following closely behind the outer me, and watching my back as I hide hoping mortality does not find me. Because the world knows that my purpose on this earth has just been born and I must raise him to lead, and not be a shadow of my once was. The pressure of this task is mounting like bricks stacked neatly on a single black balloon, and with every breath that I take it is my oxygen that it consumes. Now my shadow is my life line, as well as message to “my purpose” of thing that he shall not do. While the lights from the sky shine straight through, the clouds whose positions are calculated so that they shall guide us home and sprinkle the shadows of this earth with hope that our blessing shall come and this pain from suffering will not penetrate the dark but humble figure that follows behind me.