Alive

written last year

I tricked everyone to think I’m so brave, But really I’m falling into a grave, Because I don’t know how to go on, I don’t know how to go on. I act like nothing is wrong, And only a few can hear my song, And see I’m falling apart, I’m falling apart. I’ve got this smile on my face, Living life like it’s a race, But I’m dying inside, I’m dying inside. I always feel misunderstood, And I never, ever feel so good, And now I am broken, I am broken. I’ve made up the story of my life, As if my journey is a strife. I’m living a lie, Oh I’m living a lie. I don’t want to be ignored, But I’m afraid I’ll make them bored. I live in fear, I live in fear. Tears always fall down from my eyes, But not everyone will hear my cries, Because I try to hide it, I always try to hide it. I want to let my heart love, And I want a kiss from up above, But I’ve been hurt too much now, I’ve been hurt too much now. I hide away from my friends, And I blare the music loud, mends, But it’s never working, It’s never, ever working. I can’t stand to feel this way, And I don’t know what to say. Can you help me? You need to help me. I know that I am a someone, But I’m always trying to run. I’m falling away, I’m falling away. I don’t know how to control it, And my life is like a crazy fit. Do I deserve this, Do I really deserve this? I’m disappearing everyday. And I’m rarely feeling like there’s a way. I’m scaring myself, I’m scaring myself. I’m often feeling all alone, And my voice escapes with a saddened moan. I want to go to heaven, Take me off to heaven. I need to find another Who will never, ever smother Just to understand me. Do you understand me? Open up a window, And let me through without row. I have questions but no answers, Questions with no answers. So save me now. I don’t want to take my final bow. I’m flying so far, I’m flying so far. Please keep me alive. Just keep me alive. Alive. Alive.

Reviews

[.Bunnie.]

I think the paragraphs themselves were great, and the message in each one of them...and I especially like how you ended each one, by repeating the next-to-last line, but...it's almost TOO much. There are way too many verses and no chorus, no catch or hook line..... I think the idea of this was great, and like i said, each verse was awesome, but I would suggest picking which ones you want to keep, maybe putting some of them together, finding out a kickass chorus and hookline....etc etc. Put some shape to the song. Other than that, I think you're off to a great start!!! =)

[Matthew Kult]

Love the style, love the flow. I like the vulnerbility, the raw emotion. You also have talent, and I can't wait to see what you shape and shift that talent into. I look forward to reading more.