Another Christmas Without You

written in the winter of last year

The cold air whipped my cheeks, leaving them flushed with red. I tightened the tattered coat around my thin body and darted across the street. Dropping a dime into the bucket hanging in front of jolly old Saint Nick, I made my way to Wilber's Trees. I had no one to celebrate the holiday with, but it was Christmas Eve after all, and I might as well have been merry. The lot was thick with trees, but as I glanced at the price-tag on a six-inch green, I let out a low whistle. Fifty dollars. The price was too steep for my blood. I looked around for the gray-haired Wilber. I knew the man well because he lived in the same apartment complex as I did. Perhaps he would be gracious enough to give me a discount.

"Wilber!" I called out as I laid eyes upon his face. He turned around, spotted me, and grinned. Two of his teeth were missing. With a limp, he made his way towards me.

"What can I do fer ya, sonny?" he asked me, and I told him of my dilemma. He frowned at me. "I'm sorry, boy," he explained. "I would love ter help ya, but I got ter make a livin', ya see? Can't give you no discount 'cuz then everybody be wantin' one. Ain't fair, see?" He patted me on the back and turned to leave, but I quickly asked him what was in my price range. "How much ya got?" he asked.

"Twenty," I said. "But I need to save some back to buy Elizabeth a gift." Elizabeth was my fianc�e.

"But I thought 'Lizabeth were dead," he drawled.

I nodded, not wanting to go into anymore detail. I knew this fact already and did not feel like explaining myself. People often stared at me like some psychopath whenever they found out I bought my deceased fianc�e gifts for Christmas, but they do not understand. Elizabeth and I had been in love. I had never known the feeling, and you may call me a fool for thinking so, but I was madly in love with her. We had met at a Christmas party five years prior. She had the thickest, most luscious brown hair I had ever laid eyes on and her green eyes sparkled with mischief. Something about this girl drew me towards her as she stood beneath the mistletoe. I walked to her and pointed to the green leafy mass above our heads. She laughed a beautiful tune and said, "I suppose that means we kiss now," and she placed her soft pink lips against my dry, chapped ones. Don't ever let anyone tell you sparks and fireworks do not shoot off when you kiss the one you love, because they do; I felt it. After that kiss, I never wanted to leaver her side. However, she left mine.

The incident occurred two holiday seasons after we had met. We had been ice-skating at the local pond; it opened every year during Christmastime; and we looked around happily as couples just as in love as we were skated about. It was a freak accident, and I am still unsure of how exactly it had happened. However, as we skated around in tiny circles, a small child fell into the middle of the ice and began to shout at the top of his lungs. Unaware of the small boy, Elizabeth hurled right into him, skidded, and landed smack upon the ice. Although she had endured a severe bump to her bottom half, she gave me a thumbs-up to show she was okay. Then everything spun out of control. A burly man was nearing us. Waving off into the distance at his petite wife, he took no notice whatsoever of the two fallen skaters. When he finally looked to the ice, he dodged the child, but he skated directly into my lovely fianc�e. His skates ebbed themselves into her side, the man toppled on top of her, and she gave off a little shriek. I called out for her and tried to give warning, but the horror occurred before my eyes. It seemed as if no one could steer away from the fallen victims, and person after person skidded into them. This all seemed to have happened within seconds, and rink supervisors ran out onto the ice as quickly as possible. Everyone seemed to be fine; the little boy was tearful but unscathed, the large man was huffing but seemingly all right, and Elizabeth grinned at me with a reassuring smile. I blew her a kiss and walked towards her. As she tried to stand, the husky man lost his balance and flailed his arms and legs. No one saw it coming. He kicked up his foot, and the sharp metal skate caught Elizabeth beneath the throat. She coughed and sputtered, and the man pulled on the skate some more. Once he realized what was happening, a trickle of blood fell from her neck. Pulling the skate out did not help but merely stretched the wound to a greater degree. The medics arrived, but Elizabeth died in the bus over to the hospital. A vain in her neck had been destroyed. I will never forget her last words to me: I love you. Her voice still rings in my head today. I had needed to hear those three marvelous words from her on that last day. I kissed her dying lips and said my goodbyes.

I blinked one time and realized that I was still with Wilber. "You okay? I said I got ya an offer if ya wan' it." he told me, his bushy caterpillar eyebrows raised in my direction. I nodded and offered him a smile.

"Now, what did you say was the cheapest thing you got?" I asked him as I pulled the cash out of my back pocket. The bill was crisp, frozen over by the ice outside.

"I got some runts over yonder," he said with a nod of his head. "They ain't worth nothin'. Barely any needles on 'em, and small as anythin', but if ya want one, I can sell ya one fer five dollars."

I did not even ask to see the tree but spontaneously agreed to the purchase. I watched as old Wilber went to get it for me. He was right; it was tiny and shattered in appearance, just like me. I accepted the tree and my change. Holding it by the trunk, I walked to the convenience store down the road. I looked around the bright room, fingering things on the shelves. Finally, I saw it. A plastic snow-globe sat, out of place, next to several bags of chocolate. I picked it up, saw that it was six dollars, and nodded. I walked to the counter and bought the globe, as well as a bouquet of red roses. Elizabeth had loved red roses. The total was more than I had, but the clerk seemed to be in the holiday spirit, because he waved me off and said it didn't matter. With wishes of Merry Christmas, I walked back out into the cold and took my journey farther.

The cemetery was dark at this hour and quite haunting, but I pushed open the swinging gates and walked inside. I knew exactly where the plot was for I had been there many times before. Quickly, I found it, and I kneeled myself before her headstone.

Elizabeth Rae Lewis
1976-2000

I wiped a tear from my eye. Soon after it had happened, her death, I had scratched out the last name and added my own. It was supposed to say Clarke, but she had been meant to marry me, and it was only right. Wasn't it? I laid down the bouquet, shook up the globe, and took a small flask out of my pocket. It was filled with sherry, and I toasted to her before taking a swig. "Merry Christmas, Elizabeth," I said, and I spent the evening with the love of my life. Christmas isn't about the gifts. It's about the people you spend it with, or those you cannot. Remember the ones you love this season, and Happy Holidays!

Author's Note

advanced critique appreciated

Reviews

[fotini]

amazing.......what a story!!!!!
it's so sad,yet so romantic......
the way you described everything.....you created "true" pictures of their meeting,of the accident......
and the end is so nice.....seems real....in a way!!!
great work!!!!