Degaussed

It’s over, I have nothing left to say
I need a dose of illusion to override my complaints
Impossible to hope for a better day come tomorrow
For I am in for a restless night
And won’t go rushing out the door come morning light
It seems I’m not breathing, yet am still taking breaths
Words won’t explain these wet glittered eyes
The insanity that goes on inside my very own mind
Or the anguish that lies behind it all
Tired of the uncertainty that runs through my skin and bones
I don’t need to live forever wallowing in misery
Waiting to be forgiven for my sins 

Can the hurt really be left alone; forgotten not forgiven
After all that has been damaged and violated beyond repair
I just might totally be lost, corrupted by my own hand
Yet I look to the sky and wish I could do better
It takes effort in order for this to work
Knowing peace of mind lies beneath the events
Coming after we’ve been degaussed 
Wondering how one can rid themselves of past peril 
Is it all just lies, much like all else come through these ears
Or can it really save us
I don’t need to degauss to make the pain go away

Author's Note

The word "degauss" means to be wiped completely. A term most often used when wiping the contents of a HDD. "Degaussed" describes the thoughts of a person who believes they have gone insane, for deeds that have not been made clear, but are the cause of the anguish the author is going through. Throughout, there seems to be glimmers of hope, and at the end it is confirmed that the author will not "forget everything" in order to rebuild their life, and can learn from their past mistakes and sins.

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