The Stars

would you fly to space with me, dear friend?

I want to go to space. I want to fly up ahead and explore the various parts of the galaxy; though somehow, I wish to be lost in this vast, endless cosmos. Perhaps, I'll be able to seek comfort in the constellations that paint the sky, or find a place to call home somewhere out there, grouped with extraterrestrial beings. I want to go to the moon and gawk its beauty and grace, step into its craters and make it into my sweet escape from the world. I want to touch the stars with my bare hands, making me experience pain, reminding me to what it means to feel. I wish to leave this dull, lifeless planet and explore the endless possibilities drifting through the universe.

My body shivers from the cool evening air. I sit on the ledge of the balcony, careful as to not fall to my death. The view of the city makes me feel sick to the stomach, busy and crowded with people going about their mundane lives. I would rather get lost somewhere out there in the Milkyway because it would give me an excuse to never come back and pretend that life has already given me my purpose. My eyes shift towards the sky, deciding to admire the glowing stars and big, bright moon instead of nitpicking on clueless, but happy, civilians. The stars ignite my world and fuel my will to live, much much more than the buzz of the town because nothing seems to last much here on earth, unlike in space.

With a deep breath, I hug my jacket to keep warm. It's freezing outside, but I want to admire the dark sky with my own eyes. Something about the stars puts me into a trance; as if they are whispering sweet nothings into my ear, feeding me with lovely words I desperately want to hear. My eyes are wide open, intensely staring back at the burning gases afloat in space. Warmth fills my senses because I feel as if the stars are gazing back at me, trying to deliver a message. "Listen to us," the stars say.

I clasp my hands together, as if praying to the almighty stars. I am bruised and scarred, but I have allowed the sky to see me in this state plenty of times-- a scar-ridden body, and sinking eyebags that emerged from bouts of insomnia. The whole city judges me for being the way I am, but the stars don't seem to mind. Being transparent fills me with so much ease; the dull ache that rings through the walls of my heart becomes lighter, and the weight of the masks I have been carrying around all my life finally lifted.

With eyes so fixated on the sky, I realize that they were telling me to fly. "You'll never be lonely up here!" I hear them exclaim, the stars smiling with utmost sincerity. I look down from the balcony, and a chill runs down my spine. I am twelve floors up, and being far from the ground floods my body with anxiety. At this point, my body is wrapped in a cold sweat.

I attempt to remove my dangling legs from the balcony and call it a night, but the stars are persistent. Once I lay down on my bed, I know I'll never get to close my eyes and rest either way; but the stars seem dangerous tonight, and I want to get away. "We'll sing you a lullaby, sweet child." I hear them say, and I stop in my tracks. A song to put me to sleep sounds nice. I have forgotten what rest is, after all. Sleep is all I want.

"Come, child! Fly to us."

The stars have compelled me to make a decision. Irreversible, but worth it; the great escape that I long for. I close my eyes, but images of the moon, stars, and beautiful planets are filling my mind each nanosecond with absolute euphoria. An ephemeral high takes over my body, possessing me with the happiness I desperately wanted to attain, a quiet laugh escaping my lips-- I simply cannot wait to go to bed.

Eager to sleep, I take a deep breath, and, with all my might, jump-- flying to eternal rest, uniting with the lovely stars that guided me through my darkest nights.