Being a flower

Too damn self-conscience
to be zen--I've spent
too many nights
awake staring at
the ceiling naked
cursing the belly-fat
and hair positioned
on my torso and
too many late night
conversations with
friends about

Camus and Kerouac

to attempt
to love a flower
for being a flower
and not for it's looks
or its smell but for 
being a flower.
I'm too damn
self-conscience 
to be zen--I can
never love a 
flower for being
a flower

Reviews

[Desert Dreamer]

This is an amazing flower poem. Very well written it just asks to be read out loud. There is a deeper message to your poem as well, and I am going to spend a little time now reading it again and thinking. Thank you for sharing your poem.

[jen -- JG]

Hello and welcome to WritersCafe.

Being a Flower would make a great spoken word piece - if you didn't already know that.

There is a definite rythym and beat here that screams to be heard.

The wording delivers a punch that works and shows how the mind rumbles and echoes with thoughts that keep one in the 'here and now' keeps one 'fully aware' even in the search for inner peace.

I will not copy the entire poem here but taking your poem from this point

Camus and Kerouacto attempt
to love a flower
for being a flower
and not for it's looks
or its smell but for
being a flower.

My only suggestion would be that the last six lines could be split from the main body of the poem here. This could make it a little more reflective and softer, sort of regretfull that after all the inner searching the final conclusions is that

I'm too damn
self-conscience
to be zen--I can
never love a
flower for being
a flower

Cheers

jen