PASSION LOST

I'm glad i was able to escape the party scene

It's not the crime scene, but believe me when 

i say that this aint no place to be. 

if you a young cat full of passion and dreams

cause partying around acting like a clown

chasing b*****s around gets you no where

but acting like a total fool instead of feeling cool

cause the truth is by the end of the night

your pockets start feeling a little light

And you got no b***h, but instead you got a crazy itch

to keep drinking so you'll stop thinking

about the bad night

am i right? or am i uptight?

cause i once knew a young girl

as pretty as can be

with big beautiful blue eyes 

and nice thick thighs

she had all the qualities to be

what ever she desired to be

but she didnt understand what

the party scene would do to her

cause now she's all used up

cause she didnt listen 

and made unwise desions

and now she's sad cause she

lost the only man that cared about

her, cause she lost her dad 

it's just to bad

it's just to bad

that one doesnt understand the

implications of the party scene.

Its hard seeing talent go to waste

cause what it does is leave a bitter taste

knowing that one gives up their passions

for drugs and a b***h 

cause we all know conversations at parties dont mean s**t

i once knew a young cat that had mass appeal 

cause he had crazy skill

with both his voice and his guitar

he was destened to be a superstar

but now look at him now

he was hit by a car 4 months ago

because he wanted to get lifted

now he's no longer gifted

cause you were talented 

now your nothing instead, what a dread

it's just to bad

it's just to bad

that one doesnt understand the

implications of the party scene

cause its just to bad

it's just to bad

f**k this s**t man, 

im f*****g mad

Reviews

[Casper]

I really like this. I can see it being a song, just like Kirsten, I wouldn't know how it would be sung. Its really nice, saddening though. You have a gift right here. You have deep writing. I like it.

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

I like how this piece tells the reader a story, however, I think the way of which you have structured it does it no justice. It seems to have lyrical qualities, yet I cannot place how it would be sang or what type of instramentals should accompany it. I think you would be best to re-visit the structure and have a look over punctuation. The basics of a good write are here but you need to structure different and use punctuation (especially capital letters and full stops)