Masks and tasks...

most mankind, without love, searches the nothingness of life, finding nothing of value...

I could make up  
a face
fit to fool the world
but I don't only fool the world
that way
and can't bear to see both
me and the world
through the haze.

I can paint a picture
And sell it on the street
but it doesn't work for me
...what the world pursues
I can hardly bear to pay ,
in my daily death
emptied by the world

... any way out would
seem better than this
but I do not believe
even death is the end
Shall we not then have all accepted love
in the final end ?

I can't change my goal
so I maybe I can't be the
one you love
cos' I can't play the games
of the all-too-familiar
race toward death

I seemed once to understand a bit,
knowing this and that,
even jumping at the future
but I left behind my past

Once I thought that knowing thoughts
led to growth of little me
but I was just diminished,
bigger fishes in the sea,
and found that I was losing
the edge of freedom steadily.

Everything real  comes  for free
but only to those
who merely ask
to know themselves...

I can't even sing my song now
cos' I am out of key
but luckily I can stillI hate it
when I find
myself even huumming a phrase
of that wrong song again...

the music guides me on
but I can't read the words so well now
I don't really know what to do but hope
because love's desire is not enough.

it's serious,
I cannot the find the way 'home'
We can think we know
because we stay alive a while
but what do we know at the end of life
that was worth knowing
what could love teach us
that we did not know from the start

We lose our way
but at the end of the day
who led us here?
we did not want to be
where we end up
when we stop...
one way or the other.

our secret desires
are secret because they are not in the open
but what if they were
inevitably going to be so...
what when faith is nothing
until it is faith in the love
that we desire to be

We can only do it alone
the trinkets of our lives mean nothing real
so for me you can have it all
just to see that the whole world means nothing
because one cannot find
the way back
home to love

life has gone astray
can you show me the way?
I think likely nay.
I love you
although I do not even
recogise your way either
although I'm not good for anything
any more
since being 'alive'

 will you try to  love me just the same
for your own sake , and mine
cos' it is in our hearts ?
or maybe not ?