The Moment You Found Me

The last 48 hours

Have been the hardest of my life

At the crux again

Deciding whether to live or die

I crumbled to my knees

Like Job

Losing everything that ever mattered to me

You never stopped trying to find me

The Wiccan who wanted to run

The love that brought me home

I couldn't quell my anger in the dark nights

The sobbing, the terror, the frights

I didn't want you in my life

Not in any significant way

You spoke to my heart in the darkness

Assuring me you would have fought for me

Unto my dying day

I blinded myself so I couldn't see

My final attempt at warding off insanity

You never tried to force to me follow you

I went back and forth for years

Leaving, coming back, leaving again

When I stopped seeking

You found me instead

I don't know what else to say

But to declare, that now,

Jesus, I know you love me

I know that you never stopped

But I couldn't feel it

Because I was absolutely determined

To stay lost