untitled

An attempt at the tanka form

in your sun glasses

I see

a couple holding hands

I look at us

and wonder why don't we?

 

 

 

stork

Author's Note

Any reviews welcome

Reviews

[Frances O'Neill]

If your looking for a title for this one, I think "reflection" might be suitable. The poem has a nice and unusual tone. I liked it very much!

[Genie]

You've written something I've often observed and wondered myself -- nice capture here! Not sure it's really a tanka, but that doesn't matter (to me, anyway). You've certainly got the essence of one in the simplicity of style, words and form, and that's beautiful.

Nicely done!

[julian3]

After revisiting this, I liked it even more; it captures a moment and a sentiment, but does so in a lighter, playful way! Most enjoyable!

[julian3]

I like this one; a clean, sweet simplicity, as straightforward and uncluttered as an early summer walk along a beach...