Fragments Of An Old Man's Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fragments of an old man's life

collide with younger thoughts.

Reminiscences about yesteryears,

and the youthful life he once lived.

Smooth skin is now disturbed with wrinkles,

and  his once sharp mind is fading

along with the diming of his eyes.

 

Images of his picturesque wife are vague,

but he still smells the scent of her

passing in the afternoon breeze.

The imprint of her dewy lips are

sometimes felt, and his cold-blooded

body warms at the small recollection

of holding her in his arms.

Now he just yearns to be with her.

 

Laughter resounds in his deaf ears

of a little boy and girl.

Cuddling them ambush his thoughts,

and his knee aches and still feels

the heaviness of their weight,

but remembrance of who they are

slips his fading mind.

 

Home was a place of warmheartedness.

Growth was done as a family.

Hard work still shows on his crinkled skin,

and pleasure he felt back then he still

wears on his aging face even though

in the passing of time nothing seems familiar.

 

He spends his days now in a new home

with people just like him, old and alone.

Ever now and then he catches a memory,

but mostly he sits and reminisce in fragments of an old man's life.

 

 

       

Author's Note

Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Death Girl]

Nicely written.

[InkSlinger]

Sentimental, and full of emotion.. I have been entertaining something similar for the past few weeks, unfortunately for me you beat me to the draw. I liked it overall, but found a few instances where the phrasing/word choice didn't really work for me. Phrases like picturesque wife, dewy lips, and crinkled skin could be tweaked for something more refined, giving it more punch, or added grace.. Overall, I liked the promise this poem held..

[emma]

aww. that was sad in a weird way to me. it made me sad to think about how he was forgetting all these things, and that now he's stuck in a old folks home, without his wife or family.

can i just say i absolutely ADORED the wording in this? its true! the entire first staza was incredibly written! i especially loved, "Smooth skin is now disturbed with wrinkles,
and his once sharp mind is fading
along with the diming of his eyes." really well done!

the last stanza was great, too. it was probably the most powerful stanza, but i still liked the first one:)

thank you for writing about something other than love or breakups. now, i actually have a poem about breakups and i'm sure you do too, but it was just a nice change, ya know? i've never heard of this topic for a poem and so it was unique to me. i liked the innocence in this, too. there's no bad deeds done, its no ones fault, its just an old mans life. and i think you captured that point of view astoundingly.

okay, well, i loved it and keep up the creativity! hope to read more soon:) (100/100)

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

aww such a sad write, making the reader almost feel sorry for this old man. i dread getting old i guess that is why we must take every moment in life and cherish it. nicely done.