Natural Causes

For the creative poetry group.

Days without him numbers her calendar.

Liquid pain she wears on her face.

Porecelain skin fades into darkness,

cutting her respiration into shallow cries.

Heart has been maltreated,

broken promises beat to unsteady breathing.

She's dying of natural causes.

 

Life drained of effervescent

sends a penetrating chill to a numb body.

Memories of an imaginary love

enclose sharp blows to a dead mind.

She's dying of natural causes.

 

She lays motionlessness,

unable to use her dexterity.

Glazed eyes focus on a photo of him.

Stiff mouth whispers his name.

She's dying of natural causes.

 

Unable to arouse his aphrodisiac

she sinks lower into her grave.

Ready to vanish from this world,

pleading for a speedy end.

Pulse weakens as the scent of him lingers.

She's dying of natural causes.

 

Deep wounds go to the innermost

parts of her being.

Now able to discern that she is

nothing without him, death is her companion.

Coherent that she is dying of natural causes.

 

A broken heart.

Author's Note

What do you think?

Reviews

[Brad]

i love it when you two take on the same challenge, i love reading both your takes on it!

[Kat Collins]

A broken heart is like dying...a small part of you withers away, never to be recaptured. There are pieces of my heart that were given away, broken, and never able to be fully repaired to wholeness. That person, however evil, painful, or tragic, will always hold a piece of my heart.

Only comment is that the word "mine" I think should be "mind."

Thought-provoking...

[Raven Starhawk]

You have some...I am not sure how to describe it because I am still in awe...but your poem is so filled with inspiring stanzas. I cannot pick out a favorite one. They all bring this home. You word it so beautifully, wholly and I have to say your writing is something I can admire.

[Krystal Nicole]

Loved the powerful words you used and the arrangement is beautiful. . . Wonderful job!

[Donna Lorenz]

There are a lot of reasons for a broken heart but I believe the loss of a loved one is the hardest one to gain back personal strength again. It can be devastating to the soul. Very well written.

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Excellent writing of a sad, sad tale. I am so glad my heart healed.
loved reading this.

[Wolf's Dark Song]

What a tragedy. Dying of a broken heart I think would be dying of natural causes. Show how love can heal and bring love and how it can cause death as well. A very well written emotional poem.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem was like watching a person starve to death.
Natural causes...I guess we all need love. Beautiful.

[Marie Harrison]

I used to volunteer at a rest home for the elderly
your poem reminded me of people I would
visit with at the home. They would often have pictures of
their dead husbands or wives taped where they could see them.

I also know your heart does hurt when you go through
a seperation or betrayal of your spouse, because mine did
for several months.

A very moving poem.