Damnation

For the creative poetry group.

Sorrow of terror wakes him.

Hot flames cause him to flick

his body erratically.

Smoke is cascading in all directions.       

Blister of sins rise from his body.

 

Red ignites from every angle.

Evil voices cry out in the smothering ashes.  

destruction boils all around,

leaving moans of pain in its path.

 

His heart feels volcanic,

erupting fear pounds his chest.

Trembling fingers grasp at brunt air.

Smoke stained tears run down his face.

Masses of smut blackens his soul.

 

Complexion is already sanguine

from the inferno heat.

He wishes for a cold rain to

wet his scorched body.

Discoloration is his future.

Soiled mind begs for forgiveness.

A voice from above says,

"depart for I know you not."

 

Searing fire scars his skin.

Punishment of unrighteousness sends

sensation of distress through his condemned soul.

Throat dry and parched cries out,

cracking with despair.

 

Sizzling flesh burn his eyes.

Consuming ring of fire swallows him.

Hot anger fills his lungs.

Agony chokes his emotions,

gasping hot air fuels the flame.

 

He cries out, "free me from this pain."

Temperamental regrets wreak him to the core.

Fierce that this is his destiny,

he wanders around in self pity.

 

Alarm clock wakes him,

sweaty body flushed and in shock sits up and looks around.

Sighs of relief send him to his knees.

 

"God, save me, for I am a sinner.

Take me father to heaven to live

with you someday.

Help me to live a pleasing life,

and thank you for dying for me

and saving my soul.

 

Amen"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[LA Lorena]

A "damned" good job. I like the descriptives you've used to paint the picture, and the twist of the ending. Nice!

[OT]

lots of fire - destruction - the reds and blacks - damnation indeed - nice job!

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Good thoughts..!!!

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Amazing poem with so much depth, insight and haunt!!!

[Poetic Beauty]

I like the twist of this poem at the end and the details are so clear and it makes you think about what Hell would be like. You have done a great job on this poem.

[Marie Harrison]

Very moving!

[VelvetRosetta]

Wow I have written a few of these myslef, and have to say you held me with this, used words and phrases that I loved, though to burn in hell would be like this and 10 x's worse... I write of death and sin, vampires and souless creatures, but when I think of the reallity of what could be, it makes me want to get on my knees and pray...Amen!

[Raven Starhawk]

This has some outstanding lines that really hook my interest. I think it represents so much in your chosen words. They carry me onward, straight and narrow though into wide places that I linger in and somehow find fascinating if only by the words you so beautifully compose.

[NemoNelson]

This is outright AMAZING. I really like your writing style! I'm off to read what else you have for me. Keep it up!