Living In Hell

Boastful mischief I endure,

devouring my self esteem little by little.

You laugh at my fear,

and wish to bury me in it.

 

Your tongue lies to me,

it's like darts flying,

my heart is the bullseye.

You love deceit,

and your evil ways.

 

Your violence paralyzes me.

My sorrow and pain you feed off of.

Horror overwhelms me as you invade my body.

I pray that mercy will seize upon me,

or death will take me to rest.

 

Each day I feel like you swallow me,

and spit me out.

You tear me in pieces and scatter my feelings on the floor.

My crying is weak and pathetic to you.

Harsh words frame my body.

 

Pride covers you like your favorite shirt.

You feel an accomplishment at bringing me down.

Discipline is what you say I need,

you plaque me with beatings daily.

 

My bitterness grows inside of me,

fertilizing it with the desire for freedom.

Another day is too much to bare.

I know now I must free myself from your possession.

As I swallow the bottle of pills I call hope,

peace washes over me.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think!!

Reviews

[Julie Beth]

i think its really good it has a lot of emotion i loved it outstanding job :)

[Jim Parson]

This was incredibly powerful and deep, with lasting imagery. Your use of the biblical/archaic language took away a lot of the power of your piece though. It's something that's unusual and different, but a piece with this much depth should be written straightforward so your reader can be overwhelmed by its strength instead of being distracted by the word choices. I would LOVE to see this piece written in a contemporary style. I think it would just be masterful.

[Esoteric Strand]

I agree with what others have said. This piece feels like you're trying something new, which is always commendable. Usually, I'm not one for archaic words, but the manner in which they are dispersed throughout the piece actually works.

Regards,

E

[Shiningwolf]

Very good poem, it's sad but I like how you chose your words.

[Magdelena]

Hmmm, now this was something..Sad, for how many of us have to deal with this everyday.. Your imagery was excellent.. I found myself gasping as I read..; And your ending, I also wanted to take it another way too. Yes with death, as it implies, but I also see that is can end with the persona taking herself away from him, leaving, and this ends her pain.. Wow, images, what they make us see huh?

Loved it

Mags xx

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know. Suicide may take you to a worst place. A sad and powerful poem. Anger and disappointment can make us crazy. Better to escape to a better place and find something good to live for. A sad end to a strong poem.
Coyote